The Blind Redemption
by cakesandpies
Summary: In Edward's attempts to keep Bella safe, something goes horribly wrong.  Bella is forever changed by her overwhelming guilt while Edward must deal with his own more personal consequences.  Can they they heal each other?
1. Chapter 1

I open my eyes and panic sets in immediately. I'm in the dark. I put my hand out and feel a rock wall. I feel my chest constrict in fear. Then, I hear her voice.

"Well, well it seems the princess is finally awake."

I know that voice. I recall the hostility in it, yet it sounds different to me now.

"Rosalie?"

"Feeling okay Bella?" I can hear the sarcasm in her voice, but cannot clear the fog from my brain.

"No, actually."

"Don't worry. You'll come around eventually."

"Where am I?"

"Canada."

"How the hell did I get to Canada! Where's Edward?" I stand up suddenly and expect the sudden movement to make me dizzy. It doesn't. I'm fine. I feel…. nothing.

"What's going on Rosalie?" I hear the whimper in my voice. It embarrasses me, but I cannot seem to make it stop.

"The only reason I didn't grind you into dust is because of my brother."

"Where is Edward?"

"Not that brother you half wit. Jasper. He made me promise. He said it would only hurt Edward more if you were to die. Hurting him is something I couldn't do—could never do. How about you Bella? Care to inflict more pain on him?" she sneered.

"Rosalie, please! What's going on?" I begged and grabbed at her arms. She made a motion to flick my hands off her, but she couldn't. I held tight and realized I was stronger than she was.

"Oh God. Oh God!" I dropped to my knees.

"Yes, you're a vampire. Congratulations, you got what you wanted." She practically spit at me. "Now, could you please remove your filthy hands from me."

I pulled my hands off her at once and stared down at them. They were filthy, for sure. Somehow I had dirt, grime and God knows what else, caked under my nails, yet each nail was perfect. Not one crack or break. My skin was…luminous. I clenched my hands into tight fists as pain washed over me. I realized right at that moment that there was only one reason Rosalie would be standing here with me and not my Edward. My beloved Edward.

"He's dead, isn't he?"

"What's the last thing you remember?'

I closed my eyes and suddenly the images pressed themselves into my memory. Victoria. She had found us. Seth was dead. Edward fought her. I cut myself…my blood….then nothing.

"Edward was fighting Victoria. She came at me. My blood…." I trailed off fighting to remember, but there was only blackness.

"Yes, that brilliant idea of yours. She took the bait, I'll give you that."

"She came for me"

"Oh, it seems she did more than that. She bit you Bella. She was draining you dry."

"How did Edward stop her?" I was terrified for the answer.

"He fought her, but she was so strong from drinking your blood. But you know Edward, he'd never give you up. He fought her Bella. They fought for what seemed like forever." Her voice trailed off. I saw her swallow down emotion. My dead still heart felt like a lead weight in my chest.

"Then what?" I whispered.

"He killed her."

"Edward killed Victoria?" I was stunned. I thought Edward was dead.

"Yes. With every ounce of strength he possessed, he finished her. He must really love you." She said bitterly.

"Then he's alive!"

"He's wounded Bella."

"But, wait. He's a … he cant' be…. He'll heal?" my brain could not process it all at once.

"No."

"No?"

"He's not going to heal. He never will."

"I need to see him immediately." I started to move toward the mouth of the cave.

"I'm here with you because Jasper asked me to be, but that's about the end of my allegiance to you. Don't come back to Forks. Leave him alone. You've done enough damage." She looked at me with such utter contempt. It felt like a slap. Then she was gone. She ran to the edge of the cave, jumped and vanished.

I ran to the edge and staggered to a halt. The edge of the cave was on a cliff. It was maybe 100 feet above the ground in the side of a mountain. I was utterly alone.

Six months later:

I run deep into the lush green forest in the wildness of northern Canada. My bare feet do not mind the frozen ground and my light dress is all the protection I need from the freezing elements.

I run, then stop on the shore of the river. He is standing there, across the river, waiting. He looks at me with just a hint of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. He holds a hand out to me. The river stands between us, but I can see him as clearly as if he were right in front of me. His mouth moves to form my name.

"Bella" he whispers.

I open my eyes with a start and can feel my heart pounding in my chest.

"You cling to your human ways." The old voice sneers.

"So what." I'm tired of his knit picking.

"It shackles you to your former self. You'll never be free until you let go." He gathers firewood and painstakingly arranges the wood in a perfect crisscross pattern.

"Maybe my former self is all I have left to define me."

"You're such a child."

"So you tell me daily."

"Ha!" he barks out laughter. I amuse him, it seems. When he found me, I was near death. I had not eaten since being turned by Victoria, then abandoned by Rosalie. I had attempted to find my way out of Canada and back to forks, but had gotten hopelessly lost. I ran for what seemed like days on end. I was laying by the side of an old abandoned coal mine when Isaiah found me. He was a hermit, he said. He didn't like people and liked Vampires even less, despite being one since 1845.

"I want to go home Isaiah." I looked at him with my red eyes and pleaded for his understanding.

"Then go, Bozsi." He calls me this name and I smile. He said it was a nickname in his native tongue. It make me smile. It make me feel…something. Isaiah knows there are things I'm not telling him, but he does not press. Instead, he has taken me on as a student. He taught me how to feed discreetly. We kill only what we need to survive. Isaiah chooses humans and I say nothing. My heart squeezes painfully when I think about the Cullens and their rules. I know that every step I take with Isaiah takes me a step away from them, but I don't know any other way. All I can think about is trying to figure out this new way to live so that I can go back to Edward. Edward. Even saying his name in my mind pains me.

I press on with Isaiah. I am the lead tracker today. Isaiah follows behind me and corrects me when I veer off course.

"Damn it!" I say.

"Boszi, you are too distracted. This is an easy scent. A hiker from the city. I can smell the greasy city streets on him practically.

"I can't get it." I said dejectedly.

"You will." He said and then disappeared into the thick forest.

I sighed and pressed on. Isaiah liked to play this game with me. He thought meyconfidence was lacking as much as my hunting skills. I quieted my mind and slowly turned in a circle. I let the wind float gently across my face. There. There it was. I laughed a little. I could smell the city on him, along with the new leather of his hiking boots. I sprang ahead and ran at full speed up the mountain and found the lost hiker nestled into the pine needles, asleep like a babe.

I made quick work of him, first breaking his neck and then drinking deeply. I heard a hardy chuckle from above and found Isaiah watching me from a small cliff in the mountain.

"See, you knew."

"Yes."

"You are no longer a newborn Boszi."

"I have you to thank."

Isaiah drops down from the cliff, landing soundlessly. He studies me and then bends to drink from the poor hiker. When he finishes, he stands and wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve.

"A female came here. A while ago. She was hunting you. She was a terrible tracker."

I sprang up and went to him. "Who?"

"She didn't tell me her name. She was strange Boszi. I was worried for you. I told her you were a wild newborn, lost with the lust. She did not believe me."

"It was Alice, wasn't it?"

"Like I said, no name, but she told me she dreamt you were here. She dreamt you were safe."

"Oh God." I sat down, my legs suddenly weak. "Did she say anything about Edward?"

"No, nothing, but she touched my hand before she went. She said for me to take good care of you."

"Alice." I whispered and wept tearlessly.

"Should I go Isaiah? Can I go to them? After all I did?"

"What did you do Bozsi? I don't understand."

"I tore a family apart."

"No, sweetheart. You couldn't."

"Will you come with me?"

He laughed again at me. "You know me better than that Isabella." It was so odd for him to use my full name. On his lips it sounded like EZZABELLA. "You are the only one I speak to for a hundred years. Now, I deal with you and the other strange girl. I am practically social."

I smile at him, as he hoped I would. "I should go then?"

"What do I know of such things?" he turns to head into the woods. He says, with his back to me, "at least now you can find me again if you need to. Good luck Bozsi."

It takes me another month to travel from eastern Canada back to Forks. I walk for most of the trip. As I cross the border back into the US, I pause briefly to rifle though a tourist's luggage and chose a new outfit for myself. I realize I resemble the wilderness that has been my home for more than a year. It's so easy to do these things now. I cross boundaries without a thought to getting caught. I shower in an empty motel room and change into my new jeans and sweater. I need no makeup, but I do fuss with my hair.

Then, I'm standing in front of the Cullen house again, but for the first time. The light seems to twinkle in the windows against the black, moonless sky. I run a hand through my hair and nervously let out a breath that I've been holding.

"So, she returns." A deep voice says from behind me. I don't turn.

"Emmett."

"We thought you were dead Bella. Then, we thought you were lost us. A newborn, maniacal, crazed."

"I was lost."

"Not anymore." I could hear the smile in his voice and I dared to turn around and face him.

"He's been waiting for you."

"What… How…. ?" I stuttered, calmed myself and tried again. "What happened to him Emmett?"

"Don't you know sweetheart?" his demeanor changed at once from playful to caring.

"Just please tell me."

"Just go to him Bella. He's in his room."

Suddenly, I felt my body flying through the air as I ran to the back of the house. I jumped easily from branch to branch until I stood on the small deck outside his door. I was silent in the way only a vampire can be silent. I was rooted to the spot as I watched Edward. He sat playing a guitar lazily with a leg casually thrown over the arm of a black leather chair. His head was laying back against the headrest, sunglasses perched on his nose. He looked perfect, just like my dream.

Then, his demeanor changed in an instant. He put the guitar down and purposely strode to the door and threw it open. He stood there, head bent slightly, silent. It seemed like an eternity. I couldn't' seem to move or speak. Finally, I summoned my courage.

"Edward."

His body slammed back into the door as he grasped the handle. "Bella?"

"I came… I'm sorry…I want…." I gathered myself and exhaled. "Edward."

"Bella?" he asked again. "Is it really you?"

"Yeah, in one form or another." I chuckled weakly at my own joke.

"Come here." He held out his hand. I went to him immediately and wrapped my arms around his waist. He felt so different than the last time I held him in my arms. He was soft, warm, alive. He ran his hands down my hair and across my back. He pulled me into his room and embraced me again, running his hands along my cheeks and down my arms.

"Bella, you came back." He said roughly.

"Edward. I'm so sorry I stayed away so long. I was….. I wasn't okay. It took a while to… you know." I replied weakly.

"I'm so sorry you had to go though that all alone."

"No! No, don't you be sorry. I'm the sorry one. It's all my fault."

"Nothing is your fault."

"Rosalie said that you were hurt. That it was because of me."

Edward's mouth formed a tight line. A gesture I had seen before. "Rosalie never should've said anything to you."

"What happened?" I whispered.

Edward slowly disengaged my arms from around his waist and paused. "Bella, I want you to be prepared." Even before I could question what he meant, he pulled his dark sunglasses off. I gasped. His eyelids were closed, appearing almost fused shut. They were sunken in.

I covered my mouth in shock, afraid to make any sound.

"During my tussle with Victoria, she managed to gouge out my eyes."

I couldn't bear anymore. "NO! NO!" I cried. I spun in horror. What had I done? What had I caused? I had caused him pain, nothing but pain.

"Bella, I know this is a lot to deal with." He said while replacing his sunglasses. "Just breathe. It's okay. I'm okay."

"Okay! What! You're blind! I blinded you! I can't…. I can't think…. I have to get away. I'm nothing but pain for you." I stumbled backwards through the doorway. Edward followed me and grabbed my wrist. "Bella, you're in shock. Calm down!"

I stopped struggling. His voice seemed to get though to me. He pulled me back inside and sat me down in the chair. I numbly sat. He knelt down before me and held my hand.

"Don't leave again Bella. If there's anything I can't take, it's that."

Tears spilled down my cheeks. I wiped them away.

"Are you crying?" he asked quizzically, reaching up to feel the wetness on my cheek. "I didn't think vampires could do that."

"Apparently I defy all sorts of vampire rules." I mumbled and Edward chuckled.

"God, Bella I've missed you." He tucked my head under his chin and held me tight. I felt the shaky breath he exhaled.

"I didn't know how to live without you." I answered him truthfully.

He pulled back and lead me to the leather couch. He pulled me down to sit next to him.

"I never meant for any of this to happen." He reached up and put his hand against my cheek.

"Don't you dare blame yourself for any of this. I was a petulant child Edward. I didn't think of consequences." I choked on end of my sentence.

"You survived. That's all that matters."

"How can you say that? How can you think that? Look at what you sacrificed!"

"Believe me Bella, I know what I've lost." He ran a hand threw his tousled hair. "How can you think I'd trade you for my sight?"

"Oh God Edward, I don't know if I can bare this." I buried my face in my hands, totally overwhelmed.

"Just breathe." He rubbed a gentle hand on my back.

"I should go." I got up and paced nervously. Edward followed the sound of my movements.

"Go?" he raised one dark eyebrow over the rim of his sunglasses. He looked so much like himself. I could not reconcile that this Edward, my Edward was blind.

"Just for now. I need time. I'm need to run."

"You run now?" he smirked.

"Isaiah taught me."

"Ah, the woodsman. Alice told me he was keeping you safe."

"He kept me from killing myself." I answered simply and truthfully.

"Bella, why didn't you come back to me right away?" the pain in his voice was obvious.

"I lost myself. I was a newborn, remember? I was crazed with bloodlust, but also stricken with grief. I thought you were dead until Rosalie…"

"What a mess." He said in disgust.

"You're not dead though."

"Nope."

"But this can't be undone."

"No."

"How can you bare to have me in your presence? I've cost you so much?" I whispered.

Edward moved toward me and put out a hand that I grasped. "Are you going to cost me more?" he smiled gently. I pulled out of his hand and walked purposefully out the door and dropped off the edge of the deck.

"Her emotions are all over the place Edward." Jasper said from the inner hallway.

"She's not going to do anything stupid, is she?" he blew out a frustrated breath.

"No, she's not suicidal, not that I can tell. But there is something Edward."

"What?"

"She's not the same Bella anymore. She's different."

"Obviously."

"Can you read her mind?"

"No. She's as much of a vault as she ever was." Edward got up and paced, running his hand along the wall to keep track of his position.

"Just give her time."

"What choice do I have?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**

**Feedback is most welcome. Thoughts? Suggestions? **

**As always, I own nothing...**

It was a week later that I decided to face the human/vampire race again. I had been hiding. Difficult to admit, but hiding nonetheless. Facing Edward, facing the Cullens, facing myself. What had happened to Edward… what I had caused to happen to Edward. Just thinking it made the emotion swell up inside me.

I watched Charlie go to work every morning. He left our house before the sun rose. His movements were precise, simple, streamlined. Nothing gave away his inner turmoil except that each day, on his way to his police cruiser, he laid a hand on the hood of my old red pick-up and said "Hey, Bells." He did this every day. It was unbearable. I found myself venturing closer and closer to our property each morning. Then I caught my reflection in the glass of the front window. My red eyes and white skin were beyond frightening. I left immediately. It was bad enough that Charlie lost his only child. There was no reason he needed to see her as the walking dead.

I found myself wandering the streets of Port Angeles. I couldn't risk going to Forks. Too many familiar faces. I snatched a pair of sunglasses from a convenience store to hide my eyes and tried my best to walk like a normal human teenage girl. It was harder than I thought. I found myself stopping to stare at various things and then forgetting to move again. More than one passerby looked at me oddly.

"You're not very good at this, you know."

I recognized that soprano voice instantly and I almost wept with joy. I turned around and there she was, in all her pixy glory, hand on hip, looking like she just walked out of Italian Vogue.

"Alice." I whispered.

Her brow furrowed immediately. "Bella?" I watched her eyes suddenly dart wildly back and forth. She was seeing something. Something alarming. Then she stopped and smiled. "You're confused."

"You could say that." I laughed weakly.

"It's hard to find you when you're like this."

"Find me?"

"Don't be silly Bella! We've been looking for you for days." She linked arms with me and began to walk me in the opposite direction.

"Where are we going?"

"We've got to get you out of the public eye. You look like you've been living in the wilderness!"

"I have."

Alice blew out an exasperated breath. "I know. I saw you in a vision. That's why we're here."

"Who's 'we'?"

"Edward, of course."

"But how can he….?"

"He's not helpless Bella." As we turned the corner, I saw him. He was dressed just as smartly as Alice in a tweed overcoat with stylish sunglasses. His dark charcoal pants were cut perfectly and broke right above his Italian loafers. He walked down the block confidently and straight as an arrow. The only sign of his impairment was a narrow white cane that he carried in front of him. He moved it only slightly back and forth in front of him. My breath caught in my throat.

"It's mostly just for appearances."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"The cane. He doesn't actually need it. His senses are enough to detect any obstacle in front of him, but it's not totally foolproof."

"Oh." I responded, the emotion clear.

"Bella, he loves you."

"I…" I gulped hard and felt the tears that had been building finally give way and spill down my face.

"Hmm. I heard about the tears. Extraordinary."

I didn't hear her because Edward was making his way towards us and I was completely fixated on watching him. He simply stole my breath away.

"Edward, over here." Alice called out softly. Edward corrected his course slightly and headed towards us. I watched his face harden and I realized he was aware of my presence.

"Bella."

"Hi."

"Listen you two, I've got some more shopping to do so here are the keys Edward. Bella you can drive back to Forks? Thanks. I'll catch up with you later." Alice suddenly backed away from us and disappeared into a department store. I stood there dumbly, hoping I could think of something to say. Finally something idiotic popped into my head and I blurted it out.

"Have you ever gone back to the meadow?"

Edward's face registered surprise and then something else I couldn't discern. "No."

"Oh."

"Let's get the car and head home." He began to walk and I hurried to keep up with his long legged stride.

We walked in silence down streets lined with pretty shops and boutiques. Finally I spotted the silver Volvo at the end of the street tucked into the last parking space. Edward slowed his pace.

"Here." He extended his hand with the keys in it. I took them wordlessly, but the contact with his skin felt like electricity to me. He had no trouble finding the passenger side door so I hurried around to the driver's side and started the car.

"I haven't driven in over a year." I mumbled.

"Nor have I." he said. I looked over at him, horrified by my gaffe, but he was smiling.

I pulled out of the parking spot and began the journey home. I realized driving as a vampire was quite a simple task. It took virtually no concentration at all. I found myself staring at Edward's profile.

"You're staring at me."

"What?"

"Don't deny it. Even a vampire makes noise and I can hear the fabric of your shirt move every time you turn your head."

"Fair enough."

"You don't have to be afraid of me, you know."

"I'm not afraid." I said quietly.

"Then what is it Bella? I can't get a read on you. You're so different."

"I know. I'm not trying to be." My voice betrayed me and the emotion was clear. "I saw Charlie."

Edward looked over toward me sharply. "He didn't see you, did he?"

"No."

"He can never see you, Bella. It would destroy him."

"I know."

We drove in silence for more than 20 minutes. Finally, Edward spoke.

"Pull over please."

I did not respond, but did as he asked. I slowed the car and turned into the entrance for a local park. When I reached to turn off the engine, I realized my hands were shaking.

"Bella."

I stared at him. I wanted so many things but none of them felt like they were within my grasp. My lack of response caused a look of confusion to cross Edward's face. He slowly reached a hand toward me. I touched him and felt him flinch slightly. He grasped my hand tightly and lifted it to his lips and kissed it softly.

"Why?"

"Why what?" he asked.

"Why do you still love me?"

"I've never stopped loving you. Never for a moment."

"I remember loving you." I began, then faltered when I saw the expression of pain in his face.

"You remember loving me, but now, you don't?"

"No! I mean, yes. It's not easy to get this out. I don't understand it."

Edward withdrew his hand from mine and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, why don't you try and explain it."

"When you were turned by Carlisle, did you still feel things after?" I knew I was bungling this badly, but I couldn't seem to stop myself now that I had started.

"I feel pain. All the time. Pain from missing Charlie. Pain from what I've done to you. Pain from hunger. It's only pain." I whispered the last part, but before I finished, Edward had reached out and touched the sides of my head, pulling me towards him.

"God, Bella, please don't give up."

I reached out and touched his face. I felt a tiny jolt as my hand made contact. His skin was so warm. My hand curved around his jaw. I couldn't seem to stop touching him. I reached out to his hair with my other hand and let the copper strands float through my finger tips.

"You are beautiful Edward. You have always been beautiful to me." I spoke in a quiet reverence more to myself that to him. Even now, as a vampire myself, I was in awe of him. I ran my hands down his collar and across the front of his tweed coat. I felt his arms go around me and pull me into his lap. I buried my head in his neck and simply breathed in the scent of him. It was like the forest and the ocean mixed together. It was perfect. He was perfect.

Then I pulled back and was met by my own reflection mirrored in his black glasses.

My stone heart dropped into my stomach and the memory of all of it slammed back into me.

"Don't do that, Bella. I can feel you pulling away."

"I can't stand it." I made to drop my head into my hands, but felt his strong fingers curl around my wrists.

"Enough of this! Enough. If I can stand it, so can you!"

"Can anything cure you?"

"Why do you ask? Am I not enough now?" he snarled.

"No!"

"This might all be new to you Bella, but I've been blind for a year. I've dealt with it."

"And you're fine with it?"

He ran his hands carelessly through his hair. "What do you want to hear? Do you want all the gory details? I don't understand you. First you can't bear to be with me because you feel guilty but now you can't accept that I'm not wallowing in self pity. Which is it?"

I had no answer. I started the car and pulled back onto the main road. We rode in silence for the remainder of the trip. I pulled into the open garage of the Cullen house and cut the engine. Edward opened his hand and I dropped the keys into it. He exited the car in one fluid motion and replaced the keys on their hook. He didn't turn around when he spoke.

"I… I'll be here, whenever you need me." Then he walked inside the house and shut the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for reading! If you feel like it, please review... I love to hear what you think...**

**As always, I own nothing...**

After I left the Cullens house, I wondered aimlessly for a few days, just trying to process all that had happened. I realized I had entered into Canada and my thoughts drifted to Isaiah. Life with him was so simple. It was about hiking and tracking, sometimes feeding. We talked very rarely and we both seemed to prefer it that way. I sat down on a boulder by a small river. I saw an elk on the opposite bank dip its head to the water. My instincts kicked in and I realized it had been weeks since I'd last fed. I was slowly stepping backwards in order to leap across the river when I sensed movement from behind me. I spun, ready to fight.

"Easy there Bella." Jasper stood there with his hands raised and a small smile on his mouth.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm following you." He stepped closer.

"Well, at least you're honest." I turned and eyed the elk who had raised its head.

"Go feed first. Then we'll talk."

I leapt without a second thought. My hunger drove me and I sank my teeth into the animal's vein and waiting for the sweet rush of her warm blood. After draining her, I slumped down on the pebbly shore, sated.

"Hunger can make a vampire irrational." He was slowly approaching me, hands in pockets.

I said nothing, but continued to eye him cautiously.

"I've learned that over the years. I suppose we have that in common with humans. It makes you foggy, less sharp."

"Why are you here, Jasper?"

"I told you."

"No, I mean… why are you following me?"

"Because Edward asked me to look after you."

"Oh." I looked out across the beautiful and undisturbed landscape. It looked simple out there.

"I wanted to tell you something too."

"What's that?"

"You are the only person we've ever known before and after."

I turned towards him and saw the concern clear in his eyes.

"We knew you as a human. No one's the same after Bella. I think our mistake was expecting you to be."

"I want to be."

"I know you do."

"What should I do Jasper?"

"I want to give you the same advice I gave Edward. Give each other a chance. Start fresh. He's not the same and you sure aren't the same either."

"How should I…."

"You'll figure it out in time. Until then…." He threw something to me and I caught it easily. I opened my palm and saw a brass key.

"It's my place. Vancouver Island. 100 Mercy Lane. Stay there. You'll have the place all to yourself." He walked away with only a backward glance and a wave.

I stared at the key and then back toward the serene beauty of the Canadian wilderness. Which way should I go? It took only a minute to decide, and then I sprinted in the direction of the coast and Vancouver Island. As I ran, I heard Jasper clear as a bell say, "good girl Bella." I smiled. Maybe I had finally begun making the right decisions.

As I walked down Mercy Lane, which isn't really a lane, just a dusty narrow road, the house came into view. It's a cabin with a wide front porch and an inviting slate pathway. It's the only house on Mercy Lane and there are **'no trespassing'** signs scattered throughout the woods. I walk up to the door and insert the brass key.

The inside is so rustic and charming I think it's been professionally decorated, but I know Jasper would never have gone for that. There is a huge stone fireplace with wood and kindling laid out and ready. A leather couch with plaid throw pillows face an enormous picture window that looks out on the lake, which at the moment is shrouded in deep fog. It fits my mood exactly.

I head up the three steps to the only bedroom. I come to a halt in the doorframe and see a massive amount of new clothes laid out on the bed. A pink note with a huge script "A" sits on top of the pile. I chuckle to myself and open it.

"_Don't argue."_

I laugh out loud as I turn and face the mirror. God, I do look like the living dead. My hair is tangled and stringy and my clothes are ripped and dirty. Only my skin looks perfect which is just bizarre to me. I shed my clothes as I head into the bathroom and groan aloud when I see the deep, claw footed bathtub.

A few hours later, I am clean, dressed and rested. I sit on the back porch and stare at the foggy lake. I try and quiet my mind and reach back to see if I can find myself-find the Bella that used to be before Victoria killed me. I can almost feel it-the emotion. It's there, but it's behind a veil-just out of my reach. I close my eyes and bang my head back against the chair.

I am startled when I hear a phone ring. I got inside in search of the sound. I find an old fashioned phone in the hallway on a table.

"Hello?"

"Are you bored to tears yet?"

"Alice."

"I can't stand the cabin. Way too quiet. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine. Thanks for the clothes."

"It's nothing but a few basics. Maybe we can have a proper shopping adventure sometime."

"Um,"

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

"Alice? How is…he? How's Edward?"

"He's worried about you. We all are." Her voice sounded serious for the first time since I'd been back.

"What do you see?"

"Truthfully Bella, so many different things. I can only see the future when a decision has been made—a path chosen. Your mind is…."

"Yeah, I know."

"He wants to help you."

"I'm trying to remember my feelings. Trying to feel them again. It feels like emotional amnesia. I know what I'm supposed to feel, but it's not there." I felt the tears burning the back of my eyes.

"Bella, you're blocking it, that's all. It's still there."

"I don't know."

"Will you let Edward come up and see you?"

"What?"

"I think you need to be with him, just the two of you."

"I don't…what if.."

"I'll bring him later tonight."

"I'm scared."

"I know. I'll see you in a few hours."

The moon was high in the night sky when I finally heard the distinct sound of tires on the dirt road. Alice pulled in to the driveway but not all the way. She stopped the car and Edward got out. She quickly put the car in reverse and was gone. I got up from the bench on the porch and waited.

Edward walked slowly towards me, his cane moving back and forth across the gravel driveway. When he cane detected the slate walkway, he stopped.

"Do you mind if I come in?" His voice carried a hint of amusement.

"No! I mean, I'm sorry. Come in." I felt like a bad mannered fool. Edward's mouth curved into a smile as he made his way across the slate and to the foot of the steps. His cane alerting him the first step was right in front of him. He quickly walked up the three steps and waited.

I went to the door and opened it wide. "Come in." Edward followed me wordlessly. He stopped in the entry way and put down his bag that had been slung across his chest. He took a few steps into the main room and turned slowly around.

"I've never been here before."

"Oh."

"I'm going to take a quick look around." He said as he began walking around the room, lightly touching the various pieces of furniture.

"Do you need help?" I said softly. He was standing in front of the fireplace, running a hand across the massive stones, when he stopped and turned.

"No, not really."

"Okay." I went about straightening up the few items I had misplaced. I didn't realize he had come up behind me until I felt his hands on my shoulders. He slowly turned me around. I raised my eyes to meet those dark glasses. I wished with all my might that I could slide those glasses off his face and his beautiful amber eyes would be staring back at me.

"I've really missed you." He said as he touched my hair. "You feel different. You smell different."

"I'm a vampire." I stated dumbly.

"Yes." He released my hair and went back to slowly pacing the room. "But you can cry apparently. Tell me Bella, do you have any other of your human traits, still?"

I chuckled thinking of Isaiah telling me that I clung to my human ways. "I sleep. Well, actually not sleep really, but sort of meditate. It feels like sleep sometimes."

"I remember doing that for a while. I never really meditated, but my body's muscle memory sort of dictated that I lie down in a bed. It wore off eventually."

I walked to the glass window and stood next to him. I looked outside. The fog was still settled over the lake and even with my keen eyesight, I could not see very far. I looked over at Edward. He was leaning against the window casing, posture casual. I wanted to touch him and without thinking too much, I let my hand reach out and touch his chest. His grey sweater felt soft and warm. I could here the sounds the fibers made as I ran my hand slowly down his chest. I felt him inhale deeply.

"I find that I'm attracted to you."

His bark of laughter caught me off guard. "Oh Bella, I'm sorry for laughing. It was just a strange way of phrasing. I am glad though." He reached out to me, but I had taken a step back, confused at first by his laughter. His hand searched the air for a second and then he dropped it.

"I was worried that after you knew-after you saw this…" he gestured quickly to his eyes, "that you wouldn't want .." he stopped abruptly and looked down.

"It's not a matter of attraction." I said as I stepped toward him and felt his arms go around me. He leaned his chin on the top of my head. I listened for the sound of a heartbeat, but of course, there was none.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, my face still buried in his sweater. "Are you in pain?" I whispered.

He pushed me back gently and lowered his head so that we were more level. I felt his hand cup my chin and draw my head up to meet his dark glasses.

"No. Not now."

"You were though. Right? Is that why you didn't come for me?"

"You have no idea how insane I was trying to get to you."

"You didn't really answer my question."

"I don't want to tell you the details and honestly, I don't even know the whole story. There are parts of it that I don't remember."

"I just can't believe this has happened to you." I reached out and dared to touch the white cane that he clutched in his hand.

"I know you need time to adjust. It's a shock. I'm trying to remember that." I realized I had yet again annoyed him. He gave my arms a quick rub and then walked toward the front door.

"I need to check a few things on my laptop. Why don't you take some time and lie down, or sleep, or do whatever it is you do."

"It's not pity Edward. It's grief." I said softly as I climbed the stairs.

"I grieve for you too Bella. Rest well. We'll talk in the morning."

"Until tomorrow then."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I decided to change the rating to "M". I'm not exactly sure where this is going, but we are starting to go somewhere... ahem... adult.**

**I so so so so very much appreciate reviews... hint, wink, hint... To all those that have left reviews, I thank you so very kindly. **

**As always, I own nothing...**

Hours later, I was restless and anxious. I walked quietly to the top of the stairs. I didn't see Edward anywhere. I walked downstairs and saw his laptop and other things on the coffee table. I looked outside at the gray and drizzly day. I spotted him about ½ mile away, walking around the lake. He had replaced his white cane with a branch to serve as his walking stick/guide. His rugged boots were caked in mud and his coffee colored pants were shoved inside the boots. He wore no jacket against the chill, but only the grey sweater he had on last night. I marveled at how he looked so at home here. I wondered which he preferred: the cool, suave Edward I had seen on the streets of Port Angeles, or the more natural, rugged version.

I quickly grabbed my own boots and headed out to meet him. As I approached, his head turned toward me and I was met again with my own reflection in his dark glasses.

"You're up." He said has he stopped and cast a stone into the lake. I watched it skip across the calm water.

"We don't have to talk Edward."

He turned and began walking back toward the house. "I thought you wanted to know all of it."

I didn't follow him. Instead I stood my ground. "What do you think will happen if you tell me?"

He stopped and turned. "I think you'll realize how badly I failed you." He put both hands on top of the heavy walking stick and waited.

I quickly walked to him and covered his hands with my own. "I don't think that could possibly be true."

"I never wanted this life for you Bella. I never wanted you to become like me."

I was rocked back on my heels by that statement. I always thought that eventually I'd be turned. Of course the plan had been for him to turn me, but nonetheless I had always planned on getting here somehow.

"But, that was what I wanted."

"I know Bella."

"You were never going to do it."

"Honestly, I don't know."

I nodded my head and turned away from him. The pain again threatened to engulf me. Rationally, I knew it was a horrible choice that Edward would've had to make. I wouldn't have wanted to decide his fate the way I had asked him to do for me, but still...it hurt.

"And now?" I whispered.

"Now?"

"Well? I'm standing here Edward. A vampire! You didn't even have to be the one to turn me. It's off your head. Aren't you relieved?" I yelled. Even as I was still yelling, I saw his features harden. His hands gripped the stick forcefully and I heard it crack.

"Relieved?" He asked. The total absurdity evident in his voice. "How can you even think such a ridiculous thing?"

"I don't _think_ anything. I know."

"You know nothing! You're a child!"

I could not have been more stunned if he had slapped me. My mouth opened and closed as if to speak, but no sound came out.

"Bella?" his voice softened. I watched as he threw the two halves of the walking stick to the ground and ran his hands through his hair. He looked skyward, striving for patience, I imagined.

"Please tell Jasper I said thank you for the use of his cabin. I'll leave the key on the table."

"Where are you going?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"Alright."

"Do you need help getting back to the cabin?"

His lips again formed a hard line. "No."

"Do you ever need anyone's help?" I asked bitterly. I was ashamed the second the words left my mouth.

Edward did not answer me and I didn't expect him to. I don't know why I was so intent on causing a reaction from him. I was desperate to feel something and at least anger was something. I was angry at him. So angry, I realized.

I ran ahead to the cabin. When I reached the steps I turned around. Edward was still standing on the shore of the lake where I had left him. I felt a small pang of guilt. He was blind, after all.

I grabbed the phone and quickly redialed Alice's number. She picked up before even one ring had sounded.

"What's the matter Bella."

"I'm leaving the cabin. Edward is still here. I just thought you should know."

"Good grief Bella! This doesn't have to be so complicated!"

I slowly blew out a breath in attempt to stifle my frustration. "I appreciate what you've done for me. I really do Alice. You're a good friend. But…"

"I'm not a good friend. Not at all, Bella. If I had been, you wouldn't be…what you are."

I felt any icy fear prickle at the back of my neck. "What are you talking about Alice?"

"It's my fault." She whispered.

"No, no Alice. You didn't do anything." I tried to soothe her.

"I knew it was going to happen!" She screamed into the phone. Before I could respond, Jasper's voice was on the other end.

"There's more to it than even Edward knows Bella. Come to the house… both of you."

I replaced the receiver but didn't move for several moments. When I finally looked away from the phone I saw Edward. He was standing in the back doorway, leaning on the door jam, his arms folded across his chest.

"You heard all that." It wasn't a question.

"She's not sure what she remembers Bella. This has taken a toll on her too."

"I want to know what she knows. What she saw."

He didn't respond. He just seemed to stare at me. Finally I began to squirm under his intense scrutiny.

He bent down and began to unlace his muddy boots. "I'm going to grab a shower and then we can head back to the house."

"I…I didn't drive here."

He looked up with that irresistibly crooked grin. "I know."

"Edward. I hiked here. I don't think you…."

His playful grin transformed into a familiar hard line. "I can still hike Bella. There's nothing wrong with my legs." He dropped his boots to the porch floor with a resounding 'thunk' and then made his way upstairs. The only difference in how he walked was his hand extended slightly in front of him. I heard the bedroom shut and then the water turn on a few seconds later.

I felt like an ass, yet I was mad as hell too. If the situation were reversed, would I fault him for caring about me? I was only trying to be kind. I wasn't trying to make him feel incapable.

Before I realized what I was doing, I was storming into the bedroom and crossing the room toward the huge master bath. I knocked twice on the door and then opened it. My dead, cold heart squeezed inside my chest. Edward was in the shower and I could clearly make out his outline in the frosted glass. He was facing away from the shower spray, vigorously scrubbing his scalp. Then he stopped suddenly.

"Not a big fan of privacy?" He said distractedly.

I attempted to play it cool. "Ah, it's just that…. Well, I…. You know…" I sounded like a moron. I'm sure if it were still possible, I'd be beet red with embarrassment. I had my hand on the doorknob to exit when he called my name.

"Join me." He said.

"I… I… I should…." I gulped audibly.

"Come here Bella."

I seemed to move on autopilot. I stripped off my clothes and stepped toward the glass door. I pulled it open. He was waiting with his hand extended. Of course he didn't have on those dark glasses, but with the water distortion, he eyes just looked closed. I decided to just not think about all that we needed to sort through. I decided to take his hand and let him pull me in.


	5. Chapter 5

Hot and Cold.

There seemed to be no in between where Edward was concerned.

We walked through the forest on our way back to Forks. We spoke infrequently. As he had reminded me, his legs were indeed, not broken. He moved beside me with an effortless grace. His cane was folded up and stored in his back pocket. I wanted to speak to him. I wanted to touch him. At the very least, I wanted to hold his hand. Instead, I stayed silent and let my mind drift back to the previous day.

He had pulled me into the shower and before the spray even hit my body, Edward's mouth was on mine. His kiss left me breathless, despite the fact I no longer even needed to breathe. His hands moved constantly. First on my hair, then down to my shoulders and arms. He caressed his way back up my stomach and to my breasts. He left me dizzy and weak. Finally he moved to my face. He held my head steady with one hand on my neck and with his other hand he touched my cheek and then my lips. He pulled me to him with a strength that would have cracked the human Bella's vertebrae, but this Bella matched his strength with my own. Somehow we exited the shower and ended up on the bed in a frenzy. I'm pretty sure I screamed.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts as we trotted through the wet wilderness. If Edward could read my mind, right now I'd be dying of embarrassment. Being with him like that was perhaps the single greatest pleasure I had ever known. Of course, after it was over, we retreated to our separate mental corners.

It was nearly nightfall when the Cullen house came into view. It was brightly lit and appeared welcoming. I felt nervous and wondered what to expect.

"You two look like you've been rolling around in the mud!" Emmett's barrel voice exclaimed from behind us. I spun around and saw him in the garage. I didn't understand his meaning and for a second wondered if he somehow knew Edward and I had been together. I feigned a sudden interest in my boots and stayed silent. Thankfully, Edward took the lead.

"Is everybody inside?" he asked.

"Yep. Just waiting on you."

"Well, we're here now." Edward said as he headed toward the house. I turned around and looked at Emmett. He seemed to be communicating something with his eyes, but I couldn't figure it out. Edward didn't knock, of course, but simply entered his house and sat down on the bench to take off his boots. I waited in the threshold wondering if I should just walk in.

"You can come in, you know." He said without looking up.

Just as I was about to step into the house. I felt, more than saw red hot anger.

"You have a lot of nerve coming here."

I saw her descending the stairs in all her blond glory. She wore a challenging smile. I don't even remember having a single thought in my head. What I do remember is the sound of her jaw cracking against my fist. Before I knew it, Emmett had crashed through the front door and pulled me off her. I went flying back down the stairs and landed awkwardly. My fist hurt, but soon would heal. I looked back and saw her crumbled against the wall, cradling her jaw. I jumped up in a flash and was ready to pounce again.

"Bella…." It was Jasper's voice. I felt the air around me calm down, but it only made my blood boil more.

"Don't you do that, Jasper! She deserves it and more!" I raged.

"You are nothing but a mistake Bella!" Rosalie screamed from the stairwell.

"I'm going to rip your head off!" Even I was stunned by the new and violent words coming from my mouth. I felt a hand on my wrist and wheeled around ready to hit the next person that got in my way.

"Bella. Calm down." Edward spoke soothingly.

I felt my chest heave up and down several times while I tried to calm myself. I shook off his hand and stalked outside onto the front porch.

"Bella?" Edward called softly.

"Over here." I answered him. He found me easily on the far side of the big wrap around porch.

"You're still such a young vampire. It gets easier to control your emotions as you get older."

"I hope so."

"Hey, you two. Can we try this again?" Alice called from the front door.

"I don't think this is a good idea Alice." I still felt shaky from the encounter.

"I've sent Rosalie away." She said somewhat disgustedly.

I wondered when all that had happened. I had only been on the porch for a few minutes. I shook my head. Vampires moved at such lightning speed. I wondered if I'd ever get used to it.

"Okay." I whispered.

Esme was in the doorway. She smiled kindly and took my hands. I looked past her and saw the muddy evidence of my tussle with Rosalie all over her white stairs.

"Oh Esme, I'm so sorry. I'll clean that up."

"Don't worry about that now dear. Just come in, please." She held my hand and walked me to the living room. She and Carlisle left the room. It was only Jasper, Alice, Edward and I. We all sat awkwardly.

"Well!" Alice exclaimed. "That was certainly unexpected. Even for me."

"I'm sorry Alice." I hung my head.

"Don't be Bella. I know how you feel about what Rosalie did, but when you hear the whole story, you'll understand."

Jasper spoke next. "How much of the fight with Victoria do you remember, Bella?"

I swallowed hard. The images formed a montage in my mind. "I remember her. She came after me. I cut my arm. She killed Seth." I closed my eyes against the pain of seeing Seth fall. Victoria casting his body aside like a rag doll.

"I could hear the roar. The scream of the other wolves when… when he died."

"Is that all?" Jasper pressed.

"I remember her eyes as she locked her jaws onto my skin." My voice, now harder. "They were so dark. So red. It was like she was breathing fire into me. I felt like I was burning alive." I whispered.

Edward had lowered his head into his hands. I cannot imagine what must have been going through his mind when he saw that. I wanted desperately to reach out and touch him.

"Edward. Why don't you tell her what happened after that." Jasper again led the discussion.

Edward spoke without raising his head. "She was draining Bella dry. She was killing her. I ripped her off of her, but she was strong from the blood. She jumped on me. We went around and around for what seemed like hours. I could feel bones break in her body, but she never relented. Finally, she got her thumbs into my eyes. I got her around the neck and ripped her throat out."

Tears were silently running down my cheeks.

Edward continued. "Then you were all there. I don't remember too much from then on."

I watched Alice as emotion washed over her. She took a few breaths and then began.

"I dealt with her body. I burned the body. I told Rosalie to take you Bella."

I looked up sharply. "Why?"

"Why? Because it was total chaos. You were in such agony. You were trying to scream, but you were so weak. It was a terrible sound. Terrible."

I looked over at Edward. His hands were clasped tightly between his knees.

"But why did Rosalie take me so far away?"

"You couldn't be here Bella. We needed to help Edward."

"Alice…" his voice was a stern warning.

"No Edward. She needs to know this!"

"No! There's no point in reliving it Alice. Wasn't once enough fun?" He got up and stalked out. I heard the back door slam shut a few seconds later.

Alice blew out a breath and then came around to sit next to me. "He's ashamed."

"Ashamed?" I was in disbelief. "What could he possibly have to be ashamed about?"

"Nothing, but that's not how he sees it."

Jasper spoke next. "He was in and out of consciousness for a while. He was in a lot of pain. Bella, do you understand how vampires heal?"

"Um, I think so. I mean, I know it happens fast." 

"Yes, it can, but…you need to have all the pieces." He finished gently.

"We couldn't find anything but dust." Alice held my hand.

"And even then, there wasn't much."

"Oh God!" I cried.

"Bella, there's more." Alice rubbed my back with soothing circles.

"How much more awful can this get?"

"It wasn't Victoria that pulverized his eyes. She gouged them out, for sure, but then there was someone else."

"What?"

Jasper took over again. I could feel his attempts to calm me, and this time I did not fight it. "A vampire's body is like stone. It takes a creature of incredible strength to damage it in any way."

My mind raced as I connected the dots of what he was saying.

Edward's eyes…

Like stone….

Destroyed….

A creature with superhuman strength…

I launched to my feet and backed into the wall, covering my face.

"No! No! No!"

"I'm so sorry to tell this to you Bella, but you need to know."

"Don't you dare say it Jasper! Don't you say it!"

"It was Jacob."


	6. Chapter 6

**I am so very sorry about the long delay. I was having epic problems with my computer. I've been living off of my phone for over a month and I've missed writing. Now, I have a shiny new laptop and a lovely payment plan to go along with it! Hopefully, we will be together for a long, long time…..**

**Now, back to our story….. **

I have no idea how long I sat on that couch and listened to the story that Jasper told me. After a while, I don't think I could even respond. I sat numbly. I stared straight ahead. Finally, Jasper and Alice together came and knelt on either side of me. Alice gently shook my shoulder.

"Bella?"

I looked up from the floor and into her eyes. I couldn't remember the question. Had she asked me a question?

"Bella, honey. Let's get some air." She pulled me up from the couch and walked me firmly to the door, her arm looped with mine.

"He's dead. He's dead, isn't he?"

Alice looked at me for a long moment and then looked away. "No."

"What! Where is he?"

"He's gone Bella."

"Gone? Gone where?"

"Jacob left and doesn't want to be found. He was quite clear on that point."

"He's…He's…."

"He couldn't stay Bella. He needed to get away. Let it be."

I crouched down and put my hand down to steady myself. I felt the earth tipping and turning on its side. I was so tired suddenly. So tired. At that moment all I wanted was to crawl into my old bed in my old house and sleep under my soft quilt while listening to the rain beating against the roof. I wanted it so desperately I almost wept.

"I can't see your future anymore."

I looked up at her sharply and found her staring at me in that peculiar way of hers.

"I don't think there's much to see Alice." I sat down heavily on a large boulder. "God, what a mess."

"Don't be egotistical Bella."

"What?" I almost laughed out loud with the absurdity.

"You think all this is your fault."

"That's 'cause it is."

"No, don't be an idiot."

"Thanks for that."

"You didn't cause any of these events."

"I know that, but if not for me…."

Alice abruptly cut me off "if not for you… who knows Bella. If not for Edward then maybe Victoria would have killed you back when we first encountered her. You're being absurd!"

"Fine. You win. Please, just don't argue with me anymore. My head feels like its splitting open."

"You're head hurts?"

"That's an understatement." I said as a I cradled my head in my hands.

"Has that happened since you've been changed?"

I looked over at her and saw a look of worry pass across her face. I thought back through my short vampire life. "Yeah, on and off. This is the worst though." I slowly slid off my boulder; careful not to bounce my screaming head.

"Bella, that's not normal for a vampire." She came over to me and took my hand.

"Yeah, I keep hearing that."

"C'mon." she lead me back to the Cullen house and made me lay down on the chaise lounge in her bedroom. The room was done in mocha and white tones and it soothed me. I felt the weight of an eyemask placed over my face.

"Thanks" I muttered.

"Any better yet?" she asked as her cool fingers stroked my forhead.

"Um, not yet, but don't worry Alice." I tried to smile, but I felt the weight of sleepiness pulling me under.

Awhile later, I "awoke." It took only a second for me to realize I was not alone. I felt, more than saw, Edward's presence immediately. My first emotion was pure relief. This was followed by utter grief.

"Edward." I whispered. He was beside me instantly.

"How are you feeling?" he ran his cool hand across my forehead, as if to check for a fever. The thought of a vampire having a fever made me smile.

"I think that's a loaded question." I said as I swung my legs to the floor and swiftly rose. Edward stood with me and reached for my hand. Instead of taking his offered hand, I wrapped my arms tightly around his torso. I felt his strong arms wrap around me in response.

"Oh Bella." He said against the top of my head.

"Tell me what I should do." I asked. He pulled away from me but held me firmly at arms length.

"What you should do about what?" I watched his brown furrow against the top of his sunglasses.

"All of this!" I shook off his arms and stomped to the huge windows overlooking the creek.

"What exactly do you think your options are?" Edward responded somewhat coldly. His patience with me was obviously growing thin.

I turned to face him. "I need…." I couldn't finish. I had no idea how to end that sentence.

Edward walked slowly toward me and stopped just a few inches from where I stood. I still had no idea how he did that without his sight. I didn't think it was the right time to ask. Suddenly it felt like an eternity had passed since I had been with him. Ever since I came back, things between us had been so strained. I longed for a simpler time. Again, I chuckled darkly at that thought. Back when I was human, I thought our lives were so tragically complicated. What did I know then? I had been a child.

"What do you need?" he asked as he gently stroked my arm. I felt heat coil within me. It startled me, yet thrilled me. Finally, something felt familiar.

I reached up and touched his jaw. I saw one perfect eyebrow arch and then a small lopsided smile touched his mouth. I melted against him and held on dearly. I felt his shuddering breath.

I ran my hands up his back and into his hair. So soft. So silky against my skin. I gently pulled his hair to force him to lower his head. He kissed my neck and let his lips glide downward to my collarbone. I suddenly felt as if my knees were made of jello.

"Bella" he said hoarsely.

I could not answer, only moan as his lips found the inside of my elbow. I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way. Not now. Not with all I had learned in the last 24 hours, yet it was unstoppable. It was like a giant wave had washed me away and I was powerless to change its direction.

"Let's go to my room." Edward said as he pulled me toward the door.

"Wait, what about the others?" I said, suddenly embarrassed that they would surely realize what we were doing.

"No one's here. We're alone."

I didn't question him further as he lead me down to the end of the hall to his room. He banged the door open and shut it behind him with a thud. I could feel the anticipation in the air. If my heart hadn't been dead, I'm sure it would be pounding in my throat at this moment.

"Bella" he exhaled. He pushed me gently backward toward the black couch. He sat next to me and continued to hold me tightly; his hands never ceasing their movements. The last time we were together, everything felt new, foreign to me. Now, here, this was familiar. This was Edward. I tugged his hair again and lowered his head to my heart. I breathed in the scent of him. He always smelled like the ocean. I smiled and felt the tears come to the surface of my eyes.

"I can smell your tears." He picked his head up and gently touched my cheek with his thumb.

"I'm not sad. Not right now." I laid my hand on the back of his.

"These are happy tears?" he sound skeptical, but still playful.

"It's because something feels familiar." I didn't know how to explain it.

He didn't answer, just smiled. His leaned in and kissed me deeply. I felt myself giving in and letting go. I was drunk with lust for him. I felt my head spin as I wrapped myself in and arouond him. I wanted him. Every bit of his being, I wanted to consume him. I felt frantic to be with him, but he kept the pace slow, maddeningly so I tried to pull his clothes off his body, but he brushed my hands away and did it himself. He gently removed my clothing and held me tightly against his skin.

"I feel like I can't get enough of you Bella." He whispered against my neck. "I want to know everything about you now, but I feel like I just can't get the whole picture."

"Because of these?" I asked softly as I touched his glasses.

"I want to see you. I want to see you more than anything."

I felt my chest constrict with total grief and guilt yet again, but I fought it down. This moment, this wonderful sweet moment was not going to be halted. Not if I could help it.

"How can I help?" I whispered.

He only shook his head as he continued to distract me with his movements against my body. I wanted to help. I wanted to give him whatever he could need from me. I wanted to talk to him more, but soon, I could not even form a coherent thought of my own.

Hours later, we lay tangled in each other's arms on the couch. I had my ear pressed against his chest and listened to the total absence of a heartbeat. I could feel Edward gently stroking my hair.

"I think we should leave Forks." I said.

"I think so too."

I picked my head up and looked at him with surprise. I wasn't expecting him to say that.

"What?"

"I'm just surprised you're willing to leave."

"Well, Bella, it's not safe for you to be here, first of all. I mean, everyone thinks you died. "

"What's the second thing?"

"What?"

"You said 'first of all' before. What's the second thing?"

"I don't know. I guess I think we should start fresh somewhere." He sounded uncharacteristically nervous.

I smiled and touched his hair. "Where would you like to go?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter?"

"No, not really."

"You don't sound too excited about this prospect."

"I'm fine. I just want you to be happy."

"Edward."

He disentangled himself from my arms and began to rise. I swiftly pulled him back down next to me.

He laughed. "That newborn strength won't last forever, you know."

"You're hiding something from me." I held his chin and gently turned his head so that he was facing me.

"I'm not, Bella."

I reached up and touched the side of his sunglasses. He immediately flinched and pulled back.

"I want to see you without these."

"Why? You know what's under them. It's not a pretty sight."

"I just feel like the sunglasses are a barrier or something. Please. Can you trust me?"

He was still for a long moment and I waited patiently. Finally, he nodded. I reached up and slowly slid them from his face.

As a vampire, my memory is now exact and perfect, so seeing him now was exactly how I remembered seeing him a week ago. Yet, the sight made my stomach tighten.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"I can hear you holding yourself back, you know."

"There's so many things I wish I could say to you, but I'm afraid."

Edward reached down and felt for his clothes. He dressed quickly and without fumbling. I, on the other hand, managed to put my shirt on inside out.

Edward crossed one leg under the other and faced me. I watched his face. It seemed so familiar to me. I was happy to see the glasses gone, at least for the moment, yet seeing his closed eyelids made him seem disinterested or something.

"What are you afraid of saying?"

"That seeing you like this hurts my heart." I whispered. I hadn't planned on saying that. It just came flying out of my mouth.

"I've said it before Bella. I don't want pity."

"It's not pity."

"Than what is it? If you can't accept this. Accept me like this, than how can we possibly have a life together!" his voice was edged with anger.

"Why can you only imagine it as pity!" I yelled back.

"I'm trying to be patient."

"What do you want me to do?" I asked.

"About this?"

"Yes Edward. Tell me how I should be."

"I can't tell you how to be." He scoffed.

"No, not like that." I exhaled, frustrated that we had ended up exactly where we had been at the cabin. "What I mean is, what is the ideal way of dealing?"

He leaned back against the wall and pulled his legs up. He casually rested his arms on his knees.

"It's a strange combination, you know. Being a vampire and being blind. It's better and worse, if you can imagine."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, obviously I have my other senses to help me and they are much greater than an average blind human." He tilted his head back against the wall. "On the other hand, it's probably more frustrating to not be able to do certain things."

I said nothing but scooted myself back against the wall next to him. I wanted to hold his hand or make contact in some way, but I resisted. I assumed the same posture as him and waited.

"If we are to be together Bella, then I need you to get past all the guilt. I genuinely need help sometimes and I want you to be okay with that."

"I will be."

He turned to face me and let his lips lift into a small grin. I felt myself exhale a little.

"I did see you once, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"When you were with your mountain man. Alice had a vision and I read her mind."

"You can see her visions?"

"Not the way she can. It's more of a flash. You were far away, across a stream. I saw your skin and your hair. Then you looked up suddenly, as if someone called your name. I saw your face."

I grabbed his hand and squeezed hard.

"You called my name." I said.

"No, it definitely wasn't me." He chuckled.

"No!" I pushed myself off the bed and began pacing.

"Bella? What's the matter?"

"Edward, that wasn't a vision that Alice had."

"Yes it was. I read it in her mind."

"Are you sure it was her mind?"

"Bella, what are you getting at? And stop pacing! I can't keep track of you!"

I stopped suddenly. I let him think for a moment. I could hear the ticking of the hands on his watch. It only took 4 seconds.

"It wasn't Alice." He stood up and reached out toward where he thought I was. He was off by about 3 feet. As I moved toward him, his head snapped around to face me.

"It wasn't Alice." I repeated as I took his hand in mine.

"What was it?" he whispered.

"It was my dream. You saw my dream."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Several weeks had passed and Edward and I had fallen into a pattern of sorts. We lived at the cabin in the woods and only stopped by the Cullen house occasionally. The tension in the house when Rosalie was present was thick. Edward played mediator and mostly kept us from encountering each other. Surprisingly, Emmett was always easy to talk to and seemed to seek me out at times. I was walking along the river, miles from the house when I realized Emmett was up ahead.

"You and Jasper like to keep tabs on me."

"Well, that may be true, but for very different reasons, I can assure you."

I looked at him. He looked like such a fish out of water, here among the wilderness dressed like he was going to a movie premier.

"What are you doing out here, Bella? You know you're only a few miles away from the Quileute land?"

"Of course I know that." I scoffed.

"Looking for someone?" he asked gently.

At his gentle tone, I turned my back on him to hide my emotions. I didn't even want to admit it to myself, but I was looking for Jake. Despite it all, I wanted to see him again, if only to understand the events of that fateful day. I didn't realize that Emmett had moved, but I found his hand on my shoulder.

"Why are you so nice about this Emmett? If Rosalie knew I was here or thinking about Jacob at all, she'd take another run at me, I'm sure."

"Yeah, probably." He started walking along the river's edge. I ran a few steps to keep pace with him.

We walked in companionable silence for a while, and then he spoke.

"It's not really about Jacob."

"What's not?"

"Why I'm nice to you about him."

"Emmett…"

"No, just listen Bella. It's not about being nice, or sympathetic or whatever."

"Okay…." I was utterly confused.

"Some things are unforgivable."

"Like what Jacob did to Edward." I asked, although I was afraid to hear the answer.

"No."

"For Jacob, what's unforgivable is that Edward led you to your death. Even though you're not technically dead, to him, it was death. And the person responsible was Edward."

"I know that's how he felt."

"Watching someone you love die, or being taken from you is pure agony Bella."

"I know that now. When I finally "woke up" in Canada with Isaiah, I thought Edward was dead. I think I was numb."

"Well, there was pain enough to spare. The way you were changed Bella. God, it was just about the worst catastrophe imaginable. I just wished Alice would have changed you earlier. It would have spared everybody a lot of agony."

"In Italy, you mean?"

"Yeah. Frankly, none of us could understand Edward's resistance to the idea. I think it was an overwhelming thing to have to decide for someone and he felt like you weren't making the decision with a clear head."

"Well, I would have done it, if any of you would have helped me. My mind was clear then. It certainly was more clear than when Victoria was sinking her teeth into me."

Emmett looked away suddenly.

"No one could've known what would happen."

"I can't leave him out there alone Emmett."

"Jacob?"

"Yeah." My cracking voice betrayed me.

"I was worried that's what you'd say."

"I'm going to look for him."

"What are you going to tell Edward?"

"The truth. He'll understand."

I gulped and Emmett chuckled at the sound. We walked back toward Forks silently.

I walked into the little cottage in the woods and stopped in the doorway to stare at Edward. He was sitting in front of the fireplace with his ipad and refreshable braille attachment on his lap. His hand constantly moved back and forth across the keypad.

"How long did it take you to learn Braille?"

He turned his head toward me and smiled as he removed one earbud. "I didn't hear you come in." He started to put away all his gear. I walked toward him and sat on his lap in front of the fire.

"Well?"

"Ah, I'm not sure. Maybe a few days."

"Do you know all of it?"

"Yes." He smiled.

"Wow."

"It's just another language. You can learn things much faster now, you know."

"I'd like to learn another language."

"Which one?"

"Um.." I thought about it for a few seconds. "French."

"Okay."

"Do you speak French?"

"I know the language but have not had a chance to really practice it. I've never lived in France."

"Maybe we could?"

"I'd like that."

"I've never been to Paris. I want to see all the tourist stuff too! The Eifel Tower, the Louvre, Versailles.." I began to ramble on. I stopped abruptly when I realized how insensitive I was being.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's alright." His voice was gruffer than usual.

"I'm an idiot."

"Yep." He playfully pushed me off his lap. "But you're my idiot." He gently pulled me toward the bedroom and somehow my clothes ended up on the floor. I chuckled as I tripped over my boot.

"I thought I was supposed to be super graceful now that I'm a vampire."

"You're just distracted right now." He mumbled as he blazed a trail of kisses from my ear down to my collarbone.

I let my head fall back onto the pillow. As I sank into the luxurious feather down duvet, I said a silent 'thank you' to Alice for her exquisite decorating taste. Edward was lying next to me and the setting sun was casting him in a brilliant golden light. I felt my breath catch in my throat for the millionth time that this man was with me. He continued to move his hands across my body and before I realized it, he had positioned me above him with my legs straddling his narrow hips. My muscles felt strong, yet yielding to him all at once. We were perfectly in synch. Our rhythms matched each other's and neither of us spoke for what seemed like hours. Finally, I collapsed onto his chest. I laughed again remember how hard and cold his skin used to feel to my touch. Now, it was warm and felt like silk against my palm.

"I'm hungry."

I heard Edward laugh and I realized that I had spoken aloud. I was embarrassed for a moment.

"You know, I am too."

"Is there such a thing as snacking?"

"No, not really. We just fed a few days ago, so we aren't' due to feed again for a few weeks."

"Fine."

"You are a young one." He laughed as he rose from the bed and headed into the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on. I walked to the kitchen and dreamed of ordering Chinese food. Or pizza. Then I remembered that day long ago in the cafeteria at the high school when Edward had taken that bite of pizza. Later, he had confessed that food now was indigestible and he had to regurgitate it. I slammed the fridge door and laughed at myself.

I thought about my new life with Edward and how perfect it could be, relatively. I wondered if we would ever actually get to Paris. There was no way I could ever leave this area until I knew Jacob was alright. The thought of him alone was torturing me. I needed to see him. I needed to talk to him. I spun around and let out a little squeak of surprise when I saw Edward calmly leaning against the door jam.

"I thought I was the easy one to sneak up on."

"Har har."

"You need to talk to me about something." He said.

"Jeez, am I that obvious?"

Edward chuckled and moved toward me. He stopped just in front of me and unerringly found my hand.

"Just say it."

"I need to find Jacob."

Edward released my hand and stalked back into the living room. I followed him as he moved from the fireplace mantle, to the chair, then the door.

"Even now, after everything that's happened, you still can't let him go?" He asked angrily.

"Edward, it's not about letting go of him. My choice is made. I'm with you. I want to be with you!"

"Then BE with me!" he roared at me.

Suddenly my head pounded, and I squeezed my eyes shut to block the pain. I massaged my temples and fought back the tears. I thought I might vomit from the pain, but then Edward's voice distracted me.

"Bella?" he asked. His voice was weak and frightened and pulled me out of my own drama instantly. He was facing me with his hand outstretched, searching for me. I was immediately at his side.

"What's the matter Edward?"

"Your head. You were holding your head." He whispered.

"I'm okay now."

"Bella, I could see you. I could see you holding your head. Your eyes were tightly shut."

"What? How?"

"I don't know."

"Can you still see me?"

"No, it went black again when you opened your eyes."

"Oh my God!"

"Why is this happening? How can this happen?" Edward asked.

"I don't know Edward." I held him tightly.

"I saw you Bella." He whispered reverently.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Another chapter! So soon! I'll try not to put so much time in between chapters from now on. This arc is starting to wind down a bit. There are still some twists and turns to get to…. Any guesses? As always, reviews are so kindly appreciated!

A week later and we were no closer to unraveling the mystery of why Edward could "see" me. Clearly there was a link between extreme emotion on my part. Carlisle put us through every type of psychic test he could think of from the fairly standard to the wildly experimental. Edward was becoming more and more agitated with each failure. After one particularly tense session with Carlisle, I stormed out of the house and ran deep into the woods until I found myself across the street from my old house. Charlie's cruiser was gone. The house was dark and the urge to enter was irresistible. Before I realized it, I was at my window, where both Edward and Jacob used to enter my room. I hovered on the tree branch just outside the glass and looked in. The room was largely unchanged, but for a few boxes in the corner. I slid open the window and soundlessly entered.

I noticed the smell immediately. Strawberries. My shampoo. I smiled remembering Edward's comments about it. It seemed so strong and district now, but when I was human I thought it was subtle. I wandered around the room for a few moments feeling melancholy. Mostly my heart broke for Charlie. I hated the pain that he must be feeling. I wished there had been another way. Why did they tell him I died? Didn't they think he was strong enough to hear the truth?

Finally my eyes rested on the dream catcher hung over my headboard. I picked it up and held in for a moment. I could feel the power of my friendship with Jacob in this one item. Could it be true that Jacob had so completely betrayed me and blinded Edward? I shook my head. Even thinking those thoughts caused unbearable pain to well up in my chest. Maybe it was stupid of me, but I pocketed the dream catcher and then left the same way I came in.

I walked through the woods pondering what a mess had resulted from my meeting Edward Cullen. I was "dead." Charlie and Renee were now parents grieving the death of their only child. Jacob was banished from his family. The Cullens were divided against each other. And above all else, Edward was forever blinded. Forever. Blinded.

As much as I tried to put it out of my mind, I could not stop thinking about the fact that he would remain blind throughout his entire existence. The oldest vampires I knew of were the Volturi and some of them were more than a thousand years old. What a fate I had dealt him. A thousand years or more sightlessly wandering the earth.

There was no penance for my crime. There was no absolution. How much more pain could I inflict on him? I wondered what the answer to that could possibly be. I decided to ask the one person who might know. One late afternoon I found myself outside her window watching her masterfully stitching some wisp of fabric. She spoke without stopping.

"I know you're out there Bella. You may as well come in."

I opened her window and entered her room in one fluid movement. I was becoming more used to my new graceful way of moving, but sometimes it still caught me off-guard. I sat down in the oversized wing chair that flanked her fireplace.

"You've come to ask about your future." She finally stopped sewing and looked at me.

"I want to know…"

She cut me off. "I know what you want."

"Alice, I think if I stay with him, it'll only lead to misery."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Bella, I don't know what the future holds. I'm not a psychic. I can only see when a decision has been made."

"I'm not good for him." I choked out the words.

"You know I disagree with you."

I stood up forcefully and began pacing. "Have you seen him lately Alice! This business with my emotions and his sight is making him crazy!"

Alice loudly exhaled. "I know. I've been watching and I'm concerned."

"What's going to happen, Alice?"

Alice carefully folded up her needlework as she softly spoke to me. For a moment I wasn't even sure she realized I was still in the room.

"There are many different avenues. In one instance, you'll travel to Italy, seeking answers. Edward will follow you and they will use you to keep him there. They still want him for his gift, you know."

I felt my chest seize up with the thought of the Volturi imprisoning him.

"In another future, you risk your relationship with Edward when you leave him to seek out Jacob. As you well know Bella, I cannot see your future when a wolf is involved."

I paced to the corner and slid down until I was curled up with my arms wrapped around my knees.

"In yet another, Edward's obsession with regaining his sight will fracture your union. Because of your guilt, you will do whatever he asks. He will eventually resent that you alone control his ability to see."

"Alice?"

Alice turned suddenly and seemed to realize for the first time that I was still in the room. She smiled at me and held out her hand. I rose and crossed the room. I held her hand and quietly waited.

"I don't know the right path. If I did, I would tell you."

I felt a sudden calmness in my head and I realized without looking up that Jasper had to be near. I looked to the doorway and saw him standing there, hands in pockets, watching.

"She's done all she can, Bella."

"I know."

"You shouldn't ask her anymore."

"Jasper!" Alice spoke.

"No! She needs to hear this!" He crossed to room to us.

"She's weak. This is hurting her."

I suddenly released Alice's hand. "I'm sorry!" I backed away toward the window.

Alice rose and stood next to Jasper. They appeared so solid, so united.

"Bella," Alice's soothing voice began, "it's alright. I'm trying. Just know that I'm trying to help."

"I do. And thank you. I thank you more than I can say." I turned to the window before the tears fell and silently slipped through and onto the roof.

I walked quickly back to the cabin. For the moment, I wanted to be with Edward, no matter what else was going on, I just wanted to be with him. Unfortunately, he was not alone.

"Well, well, well, come to see what new damage you've done?" Rosalie sneered.

"Why are you here?" I felt my cold blood rush to my heart.

"My brother needed me. As usual, you were nowhere to be found."

I ran past her and gave her a shove for good measure that sent her sprawling into the book case.

"Edward?"

He was lying on the bed with a damp cloth over his eyes. His pale skin was practically translucent.

"I'm okay, Bella."

"What happened?"

"He fell. Apparently you and your wild emotions caused him to regain his sight and then lose it repeatedly. He lost his balance and fell."

"What?"

"It's okay Bella. I'm fine."

"You're NOT fine!" Rosalie hissed.

I turned quickly and kicked her in the stomach. "GET OUT."

"You are responsible for this!" she snarled.

"Rosalie!" Edward's voice stopped us both in our tracks. "Go. It's fine now. Just go."

Without a word, the ice queen marched herself out of the cabin on her 5 inch Manolo's. I slammed the door behind her and ran back to Edward.

"Edward, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize this could happen if we weren't near each other."

"Bella, calm down. Every time you get upset or excited it starts again." He started to rise but needed a steadying hand on the wall. My stomach rolled seeing him this way. I took a shaky breath and calmed my emotions.

"Okay. That's better. I never thought I'd be so relieved to have total darkness." He straightened up and reached for me. He found my shoulder and then slid his hand down to my elbow.

"Come on. Let's go sit by the fireplace. You lead."

"Okay." I walked us to the matching mission-style chairs in front of the fireplace. "Here," I said softly as I placed his hand on the back of the chair.

"Thanks."

He sat down and rested his head on the cushion. I had never seen him looking so exhausted.

"Can you tell me what happened?" I asked gently.

"I was out with Emmett and Rosalie. We were in Seattle. I was walking and then suddenly I could see, but then I couldn't. It happened so rapidly. It was like a light switch flicking on and off."

"Oh, God."

"Anyway, I couldn't keep my balance. I kept falling. Rosalie and Emmett walked me back to the jeep and brought me here."

"Did it happen after that?"

"Yes, when you and Rose were going after each other."

"Oh."

"Just stay calm for now, okay?"

I laughed weakly and reached out for his knee. He covered my hand with his own and squeezed gently.

"I can't believe this happened when you were so far away. What were you doing in Seattle, anyway?"

"Seeking answers. Same as you."

"How did you…"

He tapped the side of his head. "Alice."

"Ahh. I should've known better than to ask her."

"You were trying to help."

"Did you find anything in Seattle?"

"There are a few contacts that might be able to offer an opinion. Hopefully we'll hear back soon."

"Okay."

"There's a solution somewhere."

"I know Edward. I just wonder what will happen if it's not the solution we were hoping for."

"I've thought of that."

"I would have to leave you. Who knows how far away I'd have to stay. Maybe half a world away. I felt panic start to rise in my chest and looked over to see Edward wince. I immediately calmed myself and took a cleansing breath.

Edward sat up and reached out for me. I grabbed his hand and pressed it to my cheek. He put his other hand on my other cheek and held me firm. I kept breathing in and out. In and out.

"I will not lose you Bella Swan."


	9. Chapter 9

In the end, it wasn't hard to convince the Cullens that I should leave. Truthfully, I think they were relieved that I would be away from Edward. Edward wasn't happy, but he let me go without much of an argument. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to keep my emotions steady around him. Any little deviation from total calm seemed to trigger his vision. Edward was in an almost constant state of disorientation.

When I found the courage to tell the family I was leaving, I think I actually heard a collective sigh. Edward was in his room back at the big house. He had moved out of the cabin in a vain attempt to put some distance between us. He wasn't present for my little announcement. According to Rosalie, Edward was barely able to function with me near. I told them briefly of my plan. I could see the disapproval clearly on Alice's face, but to her credit, she said nothing. I handed her a note for Edward and I gave her a hug.

"I'm going to figure this out Alice. I promise."

"I never doubted that you would resolve this. One way or another." Alice whispered in my ear. I pulled back and looked into her deep amber eyes. I saw a torrent of emotions pass through her, but then it cleared. She smiled and squeezed my hand.

"Take care of him Alice."

I left quickly before my emotions took over completely. I borrowed Edward's old Volvo and began my journey. Before I began my quest to solve this problem with Edward, I had to deal with Jacob. I drove as far as the roads would take me and when there were no more roads, I hiked.

It only took me a few weeks to track him. I found him deep in northern Canada, almost to the frost line. He stood in freezing cold temperatures by a homemade camp, warming himself by a roaring campfire. He looked up suddenly. I saw happiness flicker across his features before he carefully concealed them behind a mask of indifference.

"You look like one of them."

"I am one of them."

"Yeah, I smelled you coming for the last two miles."

"If that were true, you would've left before I got here."

He snorted, but didn't deny it. I knew my tracking skills were sharp, thanks to Isaiah.

He crouched down by the fire. "Why are you here?"

"You know why."

"I don't have the answers you want Bella."

"I still have to ask the question. Why Jake? Why did you do that to Edward?"

He looked up at the stars for what seemed like an hour before answering me.

"I don't know Bella. God, I just don't know. All I can offer you by way of explanation is that in that moment, I wanted to destroy him for what was happening to you."

"Edward wasn't hurting me!"

"He killed you Bella! He killed you the first moment he decided he wanted you."

"That was my decision as much as his!"

"No! It wasn't. He played God Bella. He took. He wanted and he took. It didn't matter that it was an innocent human girl that had a life and family!"

I sat down next to him. I could feel the anger radiating off of him.

"Well, what's done is done."

Jacob looked over at me and pointedly looked me over from head to toe. "Yeah, it's done."

"And now you have to live like some hermit?"

"I don't want to be there. I don't want to be anywhere close to there ever again."

"What'll you do?"

"I have no idea, but it's not really your problem, is it?"

"You're my friend."

"You still don't get it, do you?"

I closed my eyes and tried for patience. "What exactly don't I 'get'?"

"I'm not your friend, Bella. I'm the guy that lost. I'm the guy that loved you and lost you. Only thing is, I didn't lose you to 'the better man,' did I? I lost you to a vampire and now you're dead too."

"Is that really all there is now?"

"As I've said to you a million times, you can't have it both ways." He smiled at me, and for a second I was almost transported back to the early days of our easy friendship.

"I'm sorry you were hurt by me."

"Please don't apologize. I mean, I may wish I never met you, but none of this actually is your fault."

"Still…"

"Yeah." We both sat silently staring out at the bubbling stream.

"I know I don't have any right to ask this, but how is he?"

"Edward?"

"Yeah."

"He's… there's some stuff going on. It's not good." I said and felt the tears building up. I told Jacob all the events that led up to the present. When all of it was out, his face was almost as pale as mine.

"Jeez Bella, it sounds like a nightmare."

"It is. "

"Can anything be done?"

"Well, that's what I'm trying to find out. Someone, somewhere has to have an answer, right?"

"I guess. I mean, if you were wolves, this problem would be easy to solve."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, but it sounds like when all the members of a pack are linked. I could hear all of their thoughts. When I left the pack, my head was finally quiet again."

"How did you break that connection? Was it just by leaving?"

"Yeah, I mean, sort of. I had to decide to leave. Pretty much from that moment, I couldn't hear their thoughts anymore."

"Huh."

"I don't see how that can help you at all."

"Me neither."

"Where else are you gonna go for help?"

"I guess Italy if I have to."

"Bella, you can't. They'll kill you."

"Hard to kill something that's already dead." I smiled and punched him lightly.

"I'm not kidding."

"I know, but I have to keep going."

"I figured."

"And what about you, Jake?" I whispered.

"What about me?" He asked while raising one skeptical eyebrow.

"What will you do?"

He exhaled slowly. "I'm gonna say this nicely because I can see that you're hurting. You still don't get the ramifications of all that Edward set in motion."

"Are we really back to that? Is all of this Edward's fault?" I asked bitterly.

"However we came to this point Bella, here we are. And now we all have to move forward, in our own way."

"So, that's it for you and me then?"

"Yes."

I was as stunned by his words then if he had slapped me. I guess deep down, I didn't think Jacob would really deny me his friendship.

"This is goodbye?"

"This time, forever."

I felt the tears spill down my cheeks.

"How can you cry? I didn't think vampires could do that?"

"I don't know." I wiped them away angrily. "It's a mystery apparently."

"Huh."

I stood and brushed off my jeans.

"See ya." I said softly.

"Yeah, see ya." He whispered back. The look of pain in his eyes tore at me. I realized in that moment how selfish I had been to seek him out. I had caused him pain almost from the beginning of our relationship. I had felt so certain that Jacob and I could remain friends even after I had chosen Edward. How selfish I had been. How callous. I vowed, as I walked away without a backward glance, that I would not be the cause of Jacob's pain ever again. I owed him that.

XXXX

A month later I was no closer to solving my mystery. I had talked to every shaman, healer, psychic, and super-hero I could find. I decided that I had no choice but to head to the lion's den for answers.

I was waiting for my flight to Italy at Newark Liberty Airport. I was determined to find some sort of answer, even if I had to face the Volturi alone. I was sitting across from a computer access stationl. I had left Alice an email address that I could be reached at. I wondered if I should tell her where I was going. Hell, maybe she already knew. Before I even made a conscious decision, I found myself swiping my credit card and entering my password.

I had an email. It wasn't from Alice, but Esme. I heaved a deep sigh and opened it.

"_Bella,_

_I need to speak to you. I know you are still in the country. Please meet me. I have access_ _to a cabin in Maine. I'll be there Saturday, December 15__th__. Please meet me there. The address is #4 Rural Post 629, Estcourt Station, ME._

_Esme" _

That was all it said. I noticed the date was a week ago. Tomorrow was December 15th. I typed a quick reply and hit send. Then I left the airport immediately and rented a car. I drove straight through the night, stopping only for gas. I felt terrified and hopeful all at once. Maybe they had found a way to help Edward. Or maybe the news was bad. Either way, I wanted to know.

I found the address with the assistance of the GPS. It seemed this town was the northernmost point in Maine. It seemed fitting. I pulled up in front of the small, rustic cabin. There was already a vehicle parked in the snowy driveway; a dark blue Hummer. I parked beside it and exhaled slowly, bracing myself for whatever was to come next. I walked the few step to the front door and knocked. Almost instantly the door swung open.

A/N: Not much Edward/Bella, I know. Sorry about that. That's coming… we are just 'rounding the corner, trying to get them back together again. Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

I should have known. After all the Jane Austin and Emily Bronte novels I had read, I should have known. My answer, my salvation, was to come from within.

Realizing this; well, that was the easy part. Apparently the hard part was to come. Proving your love. People talk about it all the time. Sacrificing for love. Moving, changing jobs, getting divorced, etc. It all seemed so trivial to me now. What did any of them know of sacrifice.

I steadied myself and knocked on the cabin door. It opened almost instantly. I was surprised by who was standing on the other side.

"Rosalie."

"You made it."

"Yeah." I pushed past her and saw Esme sitting quietly on the hearth of the fireplace. She seemed so serene, so peaceful. I went to her and sat beside her.

"Tell me Esme. What's going on?"

She looked at me and for the first time, I noticed the cold steel hidden in her warm amber eyes. I felt a shiver run down my spine. She took my hands in hers.

"I'm here to help you Bella."

"What? How?"

She stood and walked me over to the couch and then gently pushed me down until I sat.

"I've tried to prevent this moment from coming. I thought long and hard about whether or not I should interfere, but in the end, here I am."

"I'm totally confused."

"Shocker." Rosalie mumbled while examining her perfect manicure.

"Bite me." I mumbled. "Esme, I…"

"Let's settle in, shall we? It's going to be a long night."

I sat numbly on the couch while Esme and Rosalie brought in their luggage and settled themselves comfortably. Finally, we all gathered around the table. Esme drank deeply from a goblet. I had no idea what was in there. As vampires, we had no use for food or drink.

"Esme, what's going on?" I asked as I rubbed my temples in a futile attempt to ward off a migraine.

She whipped her hand out with lightning speed and pulled my hand away from my head. Her voice was cool and firm.

"You do not have a headache Bella."

"But…."

She waved her hand in from of my face and I felt the pressure inside my head dissipate immediately.

"How did you do that?"

"I didn't do it. You did." She sat with her arms folded and stared pointedly at me.

"No…. I…"

Esme interrupted, "Alice and Edward are not the only ones that possess extraordinary talents in this family Bella."

"You?" I was stunned.

"What I'm going to share with you, no one besides Rosalie knows. It must always remain between the three of us."

"Why Rosalie? I mean, what does she have to do with this?"

"You are so full of yourself, you know that?"

"Rose! She doesn't understand yet."

Rosalie let out a delicate snort and crossed her long denim clad legs.

"I helped Rosalie the way I'm going to help you Bella. This help comes with a terrible risk though. Rosalie is the only one that has been able to pay the price. Others have failed. I do not make this offer lightly. It comes with a heavy heart."

"You can help Edward? You can stop this link between us?" I was almost afraid to speak the words aloud.

"No, Bella. I'm going to show you how to do it yourself. But, it's a one-way street. Once I show you how to stop, you will never again be able to use this power you possess."

"What power? I don't have a power!"

"It's violence." My head spun around to see Rosalie staring into the fire. I wasn't even sure she had spoken, but then she continued. "It's when we were re-born in violence, I think. It triggers something. Some power. I don't know. I don't know why, or how. But you know the circumstances of how I was made. Well, there's more to that story. There always is."

"I don't understand? What happened?" I moved to sit across from her.

"After…. After I was changed, I sought my revenge. You know this part. I killed the man that raped me. Then, I realized I could kill any man. Anyone, at any time."

"How?"

"With my thoughts."

"What!"

"I'm not sure how it began. I don't think I could do it right away, but soon it started. I was so angry. The hatred just bubbled in me all the time."

Esme had moved to stand behind Rosalie. Esme, so small, so unassuming, suddenly had a presence as large as the house itself. Her hand on Rosalie's shoulder calmed her shuddering. Rosalie took a shaky breath and continued.

"It was Esme that found me. She showed me that I could stop what I was doing."

"The killing?"

Esme turned to face me now and I saw the power inside her. I wondered how I had missed it. I had thought myself rather intuitive, yet I had completely missed that the power of the Cullen family resided in this one small woman.

"It wasn't the act of killing itself, Bella. It was that she had accessed a part of her mind that could do it."

"She was killing with her mind?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"It is something we can all do."

"All vampires?"

"Yes, but it is a rare few that can access those feelings. To harness that control is very difficult. To give up that control is almost impossible. In fact, there has been no one since Rosalie that is capable."

"So, she can still do it if she wants?"

"No." Rosalie and Esme answered in unison.

"How did you turn it off?"

"It's not easy Bella." Rosalie exhaled and for the first time, seemed to look at me with something other than hatred.

"It's almost impossible." Esme repeated.

"But I'm not killing anybody. I don't understand!"

"You're not killing, no, but it's not always about killing. Sometimes whatever skill you've harnessed is useful, such is the case with Alice and Edward. They are prime examples. They have unconsciously harnessed a 6th sense, if you will. They both think it's an oddity. They don't know why they have these skills, but they don't really question it. Rosalie was different."

"You think I'm controlling what's going on with Edward's sight?" I sank to the stone hearth.

"I know you are." Esme wandered the small room and peered absently through the curtains. "You have made this psychic link with him. In Rosalie's case, it was hate. In your case, it's love."

"This is happening because I love him?"

"In a word, yes." She turned and leaned against the wall. "Your mind is so engaged in the quest to help Edward and restore his sight somehow, someway, that you've actually created the ability to do so."

"Esme, I don't follow you at all."

"You still think like a human! How many extraordinary things have you seen as a vampire? How many extraordinary things can you do now? Yet, you still live within the confines of the human mind. You need to open yourself up to the world as it exists for a vampire."

"I do. I'm trying."

"Your mind did this Bella. Your mind bridged a gap between you and Edward so that he would be able to see again."

"If that's true, then why isn't it working?"

Rosalie suddenly turned and stalked towards me. "Because it never works Bella! It's like a cancerous tumor. It takes over."

"She's right Bella. It's not something that can be controlled."

"You just said that the gift Alice and Edward have is the same thing as this! Why is it okay for them?"

Esme crossed to me and sat down. She gently put an arm around my shoulders. "This is hard to explain, I know. As Rosalie said, what you and she had is like a cancer. What Alice and Edward possess is more like a benign tumor. Their minds created their abilities, but they coexist with them peacefully."

"How can I get my mind to stop then?"

"Now, comes the fun part." Rosalie spoke. I turned expecting her devilish smile, but instead I saw genuine apprehension on her face. It frightened me.

"Bella," Esme spoke, "I need to put you in a hypnotic state."

"That doesn't seem so bad." I chuckled weakly.

"It's not that simple." Rosalie started to unpack a mysterious black case that I hadn't noticed previously.

"I guess I should've known that."

"You and Edward are linked now. The distance helps, but they link is in place and it only grows stronger each day."

"You mean, this could hurt him?" I jumped up from my place on the hearth.

"There's no 'could' about it." Rosalie said.

"How much more am I going to hurt that man?" I said through my sobs.

"Bella, honey, this will be over soon. Then you and he can both get on with healing."

"What could go wrong?"

"You could never wake up." Again it was Rosalie that delivered the facts with a splash of ice water.

"What about Edward?"

"There's no way to know for sure if the psychic connection would be severed if you were comatose, but he would not be linked to your vision if you had no brain function."

"Okay."

"Let's begin. Rosalie?"

"I'm already prepping Esme."

I watched numbly as those two bustled around the small cabin and prepared an area that looked like a cross between an operating room and psychic's parlor. There were I.V.'s, a EEG machine, electric paddles.. and a crystal ball.

"I thought this medical stuff wouldn't work on vampires."

"Everything has been retrofitted to accommodate our 'sensitive' nature."

"Did Carlisle help you with this?"

Esme and Rosalie both turned to me and suddenly stopped what they were doing.

"Carlisle knows nothing of this."

"Why?"

"It's complicated Bella and someday perhaps I'll tell you the whole story."

I opened my mouth to ask my next question, but then I caught Rosalie's eye. She was shaking her head 'no.' I heeded her warning and instead waited silently.

Esme had apparently finished her preparations to her satisfaction and was now gently guiding me toward the bed. I laid down and waited. Rosalie moved about with practice and efficiency while connecting me to all the various equipment. Esme sat next to me in a wooden chair from the rustic table set. She held my hand and with her other hand, touched my forehead. I looked up into her eyes. She was staring into my eyes with an intensity that frightened me.

"Are you sure, Bella?" Esme asked.

"Yes."

I remember a flash of heat so intense I thought I'd burn up instantly. Then a pain inside my head that was brighter than the sun. I could feel my body involuntarily arching up off the bed. Then I floated down, or it seemed like floating. I was in a dark, warm place. Relaxed, safe, and peaceful. I could faintly make out noises from what seemed like far, far below me. Voices that were anxious, clipped. 'Bella, Bella, Bella.' They said this word over and over. I wondered what it meant. It seemed important somehow that I answer them. I tried to force my mind to think, but it was too sluggish. I gave in to the gentle wave of serenity that washed over me and returned to the safe, dark place.

_A/N: We are getting closer to the end. I think 2 or 3 more chapters should wrap it up. The next chapter is partially completed, so it should be up in a day or two. Thoughts/comments/reviews are always welcomed. Thanks for reading! P.S. I have a new story posted called "Five Years Later." Please check it out. I think I have an obsession with pulling these star-crossed lovers apart and wondering if I can get them back together again…._


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Almost there! This chapter was so long, I decide to break it into 2. Hopefully Ch 12 will be ready by tomorrow or Friday. Thanks to all who are reading. Hopefully you're enjoying it. I've changed my profile picture. This picture is the catalyst for this story. I've failed to mention this for several chapters, but all characters, themes, locations, etc. belong to….not me. Reviews are love…. Feel free to send some my way… _

xXx

I opened my eyes and realized I was not in the little cabin in Maine, but in a spare bedroom in the Cullen house. I looked around quickly and noticed Rosalie sitting in the rocking chair playing on her iPad. I moved slightly.

"Bella! Bella! You're awake! Oh, thank God." She swiftly moved from the chair to kneel at my bedside.

"What? How did I get here?"

"Never mind that! How are you feeling?"

"Tired, I guess. Did it work? Am I fixed?" I rubbed my eyes. I felt so tired.

"Esme thinks so. You've been unconscious for almost 8 weeks." She held my hand in hers.

"Oh God." I tried not to panic. I could feel hysteria rising inside me. "Where's Edward, Rosalie?"

I saw Rosalie look toward the window and swallow hard.

"Tell me. Why isn't he here? He would be here, I know it. What happened?" I could barely make the words come out of my mouth for fear of the answer.

"He's…" she drew a shaky breath.

"Where is he!" I yelled. I felt dizzy and sick.

"He… he couldn't stand just waiting day after day. He left to try and find someone to help you."

"What! Why didn't you stop him!"

Rose let out a bitter laugh. "Have you ever tried to stop Edward from doing something he wanted?"

I released her and ran my hands through my hair.

"Emmett is with him." She said softly.

"Where are they Rosalie. Please just tell me." I had to hold onto the bed to keep from keeling over.

"Italy."

"Oh God." I slid to the floor. I felt the sobs wrack my body, but for the first time, I had no tears.

Suddenly Alice's tiny arms were around my shoulders. "Alice. Why? Why did he go?"

"Oh Bella, he was desperate. He sat here, waiting, praying, cursing, begging. It was inevitable that it would come to this."

I jumped to my feet. "You knew." I was incredulous.

"No." She rose and met my intense gaze with her own.

"You just said…"

Alice cut me off. "My visions aren't guarantees. You know that."

"But, you saw this!"

Alice just stood there. Waiting. Finally she spoke. "Yes. I didn't know when, or how, but yes, I knew Edward would go to Italy."

"Well! What else?" I shook her.

"He's alive. That's all I know for sure at the moment."

I released her and frantically began dressing in the clothes laid neatly on the dresser. I almost fell over from the sheer exhaustion of that simple act.

"Bella, you need to rest and to feed." Rosalie spoke.

"I will." I rushed past them and down the staircase out the front door. I came up short when I almost ran directly into Jasper.

He was standing just outside the property of the house amongst the trees. He held a rope leash in one hand. The end of the leash was wrapped around the neck of a deer.

"Alice." He said simply.

I walked with purposeful steps and made short order of draining the deer completely.

"Thank you."

"I'll come to Italy with you."

"No. It's too dangerous. Alice needs you."

"All of the above are true. I'll give you a half an hour to get packed and then I'll pick you up. Alice has reserved us two seats on tonight's flight. We fly from SeaTac to JFK at 9:00 pm."

xXx

During the long flights to New York and then on to Italy, Jasper filled me in on what little he knew. It turns out that Edward and Emmett left about 10 days before I awoke. They had been in contact a few times since their arrival, but the last few days there had been no communication and the family was officially very worried.

Jasper told me how Edward had barely left my bedside. Finally, he came to the decision that he had to go to the Volturi to seek answers. The family had been adamant that he not go, but in the end, he overrode them. Emmett refused to let Edward go alone.

I could not believe that after all that had happened between us, that we might not get our happy ending after all. I wondered if I'd ever see Edward again. I knew that the Volturi wanted Edward for themselves; that his gift made him a unique asset. I wondered what had happened. As it turns out, I didn't have to wonder for very long.

Jasper and I were met at the airport by a chauffeur holding a sign with our last name on it. We followed the man to an awaiting black limousine. We drove for hours until we arrived in the ancient city of Volterra. My human memories did not do the city justice. I saw it now in vivid color. The undead, like myself, stood out to me and were easily identifiable.

We were driven to an old villa and wordlessly escorted to large parlor by an ancient butler. Jasper and I exchanged worried glances, but remained calm. Soon, another junior member of the Volturi family came to take us to Aro. We walked through a long marble hallway until it opened into a large ancient chamber. Aro and Caius sat on their perches, watching us.

"So, she lives after all." Aro spoke in his creaky voice.

I did not respond.

"I suppose your dear Edward made the journey for nothing then. He was so worried about you."

"Where is Edward?" I tried to make my voice strong, but the quiver showed.

"Now, now, there'll be time for that later. Let's not rush our reunion. The last time you were here, we barely got a chance to get acquainted."

"I would prefer to find my family members and return home."

"Ah, yes. I'm sure you would. But, as you may know, Edward came here seeking our help. There is a price for our help."

I could feel the heat of fury inside me. Above all, I need to stay calm and play my cards carefully. Apparently Jasper was thinking the same thing because in the next moment, I felt his calming influence envelop me.

"What do you want?" I stared into Aro's yellow eyes.

"Not much, my dear. Just a peek inside that head of yours. I've seen inside Edward's mind. He has part of the story, but not all of it, does he?" He paused and seemed to drift for a moment. " And of course, I'd prefer to see in with the lights on. Your boyfriend's version is now audio only, I'm afraid." He chuckled weakly at his own sick joke.

Every fiber of my being was screaming 'no.' I knew whatever Esme had done to my mind had to remain secret. I would be risking her safety and the safety of the entire family. I could only pray that whatever prevented Edward and Aro from reading my mind the last time, was still intact.

"We need to see Edward and Emmett first." Jasper spoke up.

"My dear boy, they are not prisoners of war. You are perfectly welcome to see them. Have your visit, then we shall reconvene. Mikhail will show you the way." Aro waved a dismissive hand in our direction.

Jasper and I silently followed Mikhail down a different stone hallway. He unlocked a door at the end and allowed us entry. The well-appointed sitting room seemed innocent enough. Jasper and I immediately noticed the large dark glass window on the wall. We both walked over to it and waited. Our silent escort moved to a concealed panel next to the glass and flipped a switch. The room behind the glass was suddenly revealed to us. We could clearly see Edward and Emmett sitting at a table. Emmett's energy was visible in the way he constantly bounced his knee and tapped his foot. I could see that Edward was speaking to Emmett, but we could not hear anything being said. They seemed to be completely unaware of our presence on the other side of the glass.

"What are they doing in there?" Jasper spoke to our guide.

Mikhail turned to face Jasper and answered, "Edward is pondering his choice."

"What choice?" I stepped forward.

"Aro offered his help in exchange for Edward's service to him."

"But Edward doesn't need Aro's help any longer. I'm better." I choked out the words as I turned to look back at Edward. He sat so still, so calm. His hands were folded together and his head was cocked slightly to the side, listening.

"Well, it's a bit late for that now. The wheels are in motion."

"They aren't going to let them know we are here?" Jasper said incredulously.

"No."

"Edward will sacrifice himself then!"

"Maybe, maybe not." Mikhail silently glided from the room, leaving Jasper and I in a state of panic.

"Jasper, is there any way you can communicate with them? We need to let Edward know that I'm okay. I don't need help anymore!" I stomped in frustration.

Jasper concentrated harder than I had ever seen. I could feel his emotions wash over me instantly. Frustration, determination and love. I looked over at him, surprised. "I'm trying to get them to realize something is different." He said softly.

We both watched hopefully, but they did not seem to notice Jasper's efforts.

"Bella, can you try?"

I felt myself begin to panic. Whatever link I had with Edward, was long dissolved, courtesy of Esme. There was nothing psychic between us.

"I can't do it anymore Jasper." I paced the room furiously.

Just then, someone entered the room with Edward and Emmett. It was Jane. She made a point to walk close to the glass and seemed to be staring directly at me. I felt my blood run cold. Edward had shifted and appeared to be following the sounds of her moving through the room. As she rounded near the doorway, she flicked a switch and suddenly we could hear everything.

"You've had a long time to think about this decision, Edward." Her musical voice announced.

"I'm not ready yet Jane."

"We grow impatient."

"I do apologize for making you wait." He seemed to smirk at her. I smiled automatically in response. I saw Jane's head whip around to stare in our direction again.

"Well, you know the punishment for keeping us waiting." She turned to Emmett and before we knew what was happening, he was on the ground, moaning, spasming and breathing through gritted teeth.

"Stop this Jane." Edward stood so quickly his chair fell over backwards.

"For now." She released Emmett from her powerful hold. He sat up with some effort. I could see Edward's face was furious. "Just remember I'm not always so nice." She left then, but did not turn off the intercom.

"Emmett?" Edward moved toward the floor with his hand extended. Emmett grabbed ahold of his arm and let Edward pull him up.

"I'm okay bro." His voice was rough.

"She's not going to stop until they get what they want."

"I can take it. Don't worry about me." Emmett braced his head with his hands on the table.

Edward paced the small room quickly while running a guiding hand along the wall. He seemed to be talking softly to himself. When he neared the speaker, I could make out his words.

"Something's not right Em. They would have taken what they wanted already. What's changed? Why this extra reprieve?"

Emmett scrubbed his hands roughly over his face. "Maybe they don't have any idea how to help Bella and they're just stringing us along."

"Something's off. Jane didn't even mention Bella this time. She tried to shield her thoughts, but I picked up something."

"What?" Emmett asked.

"She was less confident this time. She fears something."

Jasper and I practically cried with frustration. I opened my mouth to speak, but Jasper silenced me with a sharp look. I was confused, but then I felt his emotions. "Caution," was the message. I realized at once what he meant. The Volturi were listening, and probably watching us too.

Jasper and I turned once again to the window and watched. Edward resumed his pacing.

I concentrated on Edward. I knew the psychic link between us was forever broken by Esme, but there had to be some other way to reach him.

I felt Jasper's hand slide into mine. I looked up at him in surprise. He looked at me and then subtly nodded toward the glass. "Just emotion." He whispered.

I felt Jasper's power surge through me once again. Determination, strength and deep love. I tried imagining that I could do what Jasper was doing. I sent my feelings through the glass.

Suddenly, Edward stopped his pacing. He moved slowly back toward the glass on his side of the wall. I could see him raise his hand. He came into contact with the cool surface.

"What is this Emmett, a window?"

"No, it's a mirror."

Edward didn't respond. He stood directly in front of me and raised his hand up and pressed it against the glass. I held my breath.

I moved my hand inside of Jasper's, trying to release his grip. He held me even more tightly. I looked up at him. His eyes flared with concentration.

I looked back toward Edward. He was rubbing his temple and frowning. He tapped his fingers twice on the glass and then spun back around to Emmett. "I've got to get back to Bella, Em. I don't think anyone here can help her."

I tried to hide my excitement, but a small hope flickered inside me. I think Edward knew I was here.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: This Chapter picks up right where Chapter 11 left off. We are just about done. Only an epilogue left. Thank you to those that have reviewed. You keep me going, even when I hit a roadblock. This chapter was a challenge to write. I've written it about 3 or 4 times. Please let me know your thoughts. I hope you like it….._

I heard Jasper release a whoosh of breath. He let go of my hand and pulled me away from the glass.

"Sit, Bella." I looked at Jasper and tried to feel the unspoken message that he was sending me.

I sat down and carefully schooled my features to match Jasper's; boredom, irritation, impatience.

It wasn't long before the door opened and Mikhail summoned us.

"Where are we going now?" Jasper asked, still maintaining his slightly disinterested tone.

"The elders thought you might enjoy watching Edward make his choice."

Jasper shot me a side-long glance. I, at once, protested.

"No! How can you do this to him! He doesn't know I'm here!" I could see the corners of Jasper's mouth twitch. I hoped I hadn't overdone it.

"It is not for me to decide. Come with me." We again entered the large chamber. Aro, Caius and Jane sat atop their little thrones.

"Miss Swan. Mr. Hale. You are my invited guests for this ritual. You may be seated." Jasper and I were grabbed forcefully from behind and shoved into wooden chairs and strapped down.

"I warn you not to utter a single sound. If you influence Edward's decision in any way, I will have him killed right here in front of you."

"He'll read my mind as soon as he walks in the room."

"No, not this time. His mind will be…. distracted…. by Alec."

We waited in silence until the heavy wooden door opened once again. Edward entered alone. He had no guide, not even his cane. His steps were slow but steady. He walked a straight path to the center of the room.

"You may stop there." Aro spoke. "It is quite a disadvantage to have such a handicap. I wonder if the burden is just too great for you to bear."

"That is not your decision." Edward answered evenly.

"Well, it most certainly can be. If we find that you've become a liability to our way of life, we will be forced to take measures."

"Then I shall do my very best to remain in the shadows."

"If you chose a life here, we will be most accommodating to your special needs."

I was angered by their attempt to bait Edward. Luckily, he saw through it.

"I have considered such an offer."

"You have arrived at your decision then…." Aro touched his fingers to his temples "and you do not believe we can help your dear Miss Swan."

I could see one perfectly arched eyebrow rise above his dark glasses.

"No."

"You think we do not possess such a skill."

"I don't really know if you do or if you don't. That's not what matters."

"Really?"

"She wouldn't want me to do this. Even if it meant her death."

"How dramatic." Jane piped up.

"Yes, Edward. Truly. There's no need for such theatrics. Let's pretend for a moment that your beloved were here, in this very room."

I saw the surprise move through his body momentarily. He cocked his head to the side, as if listening to the room. "She's not here."

"No, but I ask you to use your imagination."

"For the sake of argument, then." Edward spoke through clenched teeth.

"He thinks there's a possibility that she's here." Marcus spoke up from his position behind Jane.

Edward's hands fisted at his sides.

"He is trying to read everyone in the room." Marcus again spoke.

"Well, he can try." Aro laughed.

"If you're shielding everyone, I can only assume you have a reason." Edward said.

"Nothing so sinister, I promise. We only want to ascertain your true motives in coming here."

"I didn't think I was in any way unclear on the matter. I simply wanted to know if you could help Bella."

"Yes. You were clear on your conditions. But, I may not have been clear on mine." Aro said.

"I've made my decision." Edward straightened and faced Aro directly. "My brother and I are leaving. Now."

"If that is your decision, I certainly will not stop you. Of course, there is the matter of Miss Swan…"

"She has nothing to do with this."

"Isabella is valuable to us. We can and will help her. She needs to be with us. It is the only way."

I saw red fury as I watched Aro's words impact Edward.

Suddenly, Marcus spoke. "He suspects something has changed, Aro. He thinks you are lying to him."

Before I knew what happened, Edward's arm shot out in Marcus's direction. "Enough." Edward spoke sternly. Marcus attempted to speak but was unable to make any sound come out. He clawed at his throat.

"Edward!" Jane screamed.

Edward seemed just as surprised by the development. He released his grip on Marcus as the man gasped and coughed.

"Well, well, well. It seems you've been keeping secrets."

"Not any more than you. Now, I'm leaving with all the members of my family that are here."

Aro rose from his elaborate chair and moved towards Jasper and I. He stood in front of Jasper and slowly moved his finger from side to side; warning Jasper. Then he moved to my side and waited.

Jasper stood up and looked at me. I saw the same severe concentration in his eyes that I had seen before. I held my breath as Jasper slowly crossed the room and stood next to Edward. The whole time, Edward listened with his head cocked, and hands fisted at his sides.

"Edward." Jasper spoke softly.

I saw Edward's surprise in the flinch of his body.

"Is Bella here?" I saw Edward mouth these words to Jasper.

Jasper looked over at Aro standing over me. "No."

I saw Edward's nod.

"You and Mr. Hale may leave freely. Your brother, Emmett is waiting for you in the vestibule.

I watched Edward nod again and then take Jasper's arm. They turned and headed toward the large wooden doors that were being opened for them.

I saw their retreated backs and felt total despair and desperation wash over me. I knew Jasper would alert Edward to my presence at once and then they would do everything in their power to free me. But watching them leave without me was heart wrenching.

They had just crossed the threshold of the doors when Edward suddenly spun around and shot his hand out again in my direction. I heard Aro scream with pain and then crumble to the ground. Jasper was running toward me while Edward used whatever mental capacity he possessed to keep the Volturi away from me.

Jasper was making quick progress of my bindings when I heard Edward grunt in pain. I spun around and saw him on his knees and a look of sheer determination on his face. Jasper finished with the last of the chains and grabbed my hand. As I ran past Edward, I put my hand out, grabbed his arm and hauled him to his feet, pulling him after us. We sprinted silently toward the doors.

As promised, Emmett was waiting in the vestibule. When he saw us coming like a freight train toward him, he sprang into motion. He spun and kicked the vampire that was accompanying him. The man went flying into a stone pillar that cracked like an egg. Emmett pushed the exterior doors open and ushered us into the dark night outside. We ran for several blocks. We stopped in the shadows of an alley to check if anyone was following us. Jasper and Emmett took the lead and scouted our location. Edward and I stood pressed up against a brink building. He held my hand in his, clenched tightly in both his hands. We hadn't yet exchanged a single word.

"Guys, Jas got us a car. Let's move." Emmett commanded.

Again, we moved silently toward a waiting minivan. When the doors were shut and we were moving, I finally dared to speak.

"How…" my voice cracked. "How did you know I was still there?"

I watched emotion cross his face. "I…. I felt it." He shook his head and pulled my closer to him on the bench seat.

"I'm really glad you're okay, Bella." Emmett spoke. "We were worried about you."

"I'm okay Emmett."

"Edward, how the heck did you do that thing with Marcus?"

"I'm not sure. I've never been able to do anything like that before."

"Well, I'm just glad you could do it."

We rode in silence, all of us reflecting on the events of the past few hours. Jasper drove us to a small inn in the northern countryside. He met the owner at the front entrance and spoke to the man warmly in perfect Italian. They exchanged embraces and then Jasper climbed back into the car.

"I didn't know you knew Italian." I mumbled, suddenly exhausted.

Jasper laughed. "It comes in handy now and then. We've got the private villa at the end of the lane. Signor DiMarco will handle the removal of this lovely vehicle and his wife will be supplying us with new clothing by morning. Then we can head to the airport and get home."

We climbed out of the minivan. I could hear Jasper speaking to Edward but I could not make out the words. Edward still held my hand tightly as I waited the few seconds for them to finish their conversation. I looked at Jasper and we made eye contact. I saw his lips lift in a small grin. Then I felt Edward tugging me in the direction of the villa.

We entered and Edward turned to shut the door firmly. He stopped just a few steps into the entryway and grabbed me firmly by the shoulders. He raised his hands to my head and ran them down the length of my hair and then back to my face.

I heard him inhale deeply. "Bella." He said gruffly.

I felt myself shaking on the inside. In all the rush and excitement, I'd barely registered the fact that I was with Edward.

"Hi." I whispered back to him. I saw his smile and slight shake of his head.

"Hi." He answered as he ran his hand to the back of my neck and pulled me to him. His other guiding hand was on my cheek with his thumb on my lips. He kissed me lightly and then rested his head forehead to mine. He breathed deeply. I could feel the edge of his dark glasses against my head. Then, his lips met mine again and he kissed me passionately. I could feel my knees weakening. Finally, he released me.

"Is this real?" He asked.

"I'm kind of in disbelief myself."

He laughed and reached for me again and began pulling me further inside the small, but lovely villa.

"Where are we going?" I laughed.

"Bed." He answered quickly. He located the stairs to the right of the door and stumbled trying to find the railing. He righted himself quickly and laughed as he made his way to the top. "I'm sorry." He laughed again as he tripped on the top step.

"Maybe I should lead." I lightly pushed ahead of him and peeked into the first doorway. Edward was already pushing me inside.

"No, that's the bathroom!" I pulled him back into the hallway.

"Find me the damn bedroom Bella, or I'll make do with the floor."

I quickly headed to the end of the short hallway and opened the door. "Oh." I said

"What?" Edward asked.

"It's just… so perfect."

I could see his brow furrow behind his sunglasses.

"The bed is high and heaped with pillows and has an amazing looking white duvet."

Edward slowed his hurried pace and again placed his large hand against my cheek. "I am so unbelievably in love with you Bella Swan."

I laid my head against his strong chest and just breathed in the scent of him. I still remembered what he smelled like to me when I was human, and it had only enhanced since I had been changed. He smelled like… the wind, and the ocean… and the forest…

"I thought I'd never be with you again. I was ready to give up. I didn't think there was anyway…" I couldn't finish.

"Shhh." He whispered. He took my hand and slowly walked me toward the bed. He stripped away my black jacket, then my grey t-shirt. He moved his sensitive fingers down to the waistband of my jeans. He opened the button fly with a flick of his thumb. He moved my jeans down my body, and then removed my sneakers and socks before lifting my feet one by one to remove my jeans completely. He stood up slowly and let his fingers trail my body along my legs, then hips, ribs, shoulders.

I stood before him in only my bra and panties, waiting. He pulled me down to the bed and then removed his own shirt and sweater together in one swift move. His glasses went flying in the process, but he didn't seem to care. He kicked off his boots and then pulled his own jeans down. He sat now on the side of the bed in only his grey boxer/briefs. I moved to sit behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt a low rumble in his throat, and then before I knew it, he had flipped us and I was lying under him while he pressed his strong, lean body against the length of mine.

We shed the final remains of our clothing. In the darkness, there was only the moonlight illuminating Edward's form. He touched me everywhere and I drank him in as if I were dying of thirst. It was the pre-dawn hour when we finally rested peacefully after exhausting ourselves. Edward lying flat on his back and me curled up next to him with my head on his chest.

"I love you Edward."

"I know." He whispered and kissed the top of my head.


End file.
